I need some SERIOUS help

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
I need some SERIOUS help
2
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 3:39pm

My husbandish is contemplating going back into the Marines. He has already served 5 years and would be looking to retire. We have a 9 month old. Recently we moved from Texas back to Florida because I missed my family and friends. I also went back to work at a reputable company(making decent $)

Anastasia
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 7:21pm

I don't think it's selfish at all to want what you want out of life.

I was in a similar situation a while ago. My DH decided to get back in the Army after he had moved to live with me and I was ready to settle into the life I thought I'd always have. He got back in about 5 years ago and we are heading to our 4th duty station in a few days.

I'll be honest, most days I wish he hadn't gotten back in. I'm extremely proud of what my husband does but this life is not for me. I hate being away from my family. I hate moving all the time. I hate how the military basically owns him. I hate feeling like my life is not my own.

If your husband does go back into the military it will greatly affect your life and because of that, I think you need to be honest with yourself and with him about what you really want. Don't do it just for him. You have to be at peace with the decision too otherwise it will eat you up inside and resentment will grow.

It's really tough out there as far as jobs so I can see how it would be tempting to have a guaranteed income and the benefits but I don't think anything is worth sacrificing your marriage or your sanity for.

Good luck with your decision. I definitely know how hard it is.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 12:12pm
It needs to be a joint decision. Your dh is 15 years away from retirement and if you are close to your family the military lifestyle may not be for you. Could he try a one year activation? I have two friends who dhs are doing this. One is going to have enough for a full retirement in a few years and yet he has not had to move at all. He is a NCO instructor. My other friend's dh is one state away and he was offered a FT (one year) position after a deployment. Hopefully the economy will improve by that time and he can make a decision in a year whether to stay in the Guard PT, go AD, or leave completely. So it does not have to be all or nothing in your dh's case. There are so many options with the military. God Bless!