i'm new here

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
i'm new here
12
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 2:16am
hello. I'm not quite sure how to use this or anything else but my husband is gone and has been for awhile. he suggested that i try to find other women who are going through the same thing i'm going through. i'm pregnant and hormonal. i desperately need advice on how to deal with things the way they are now. if anybody can help i would greatly appreciate it...thank you

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Avatar for gargoyle89
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 4:21am
Hi and welcome to the board. I post here now and again. First thing is do you have any other kids and is this the first time you've been seperated from your husband? I can tell you what I do when my husband is gone. Maybe you can use some of it for yourself. The other women on the board will of course have some great suggestions. Everyone here is wonderful and very helpful. But when my husband is gone I make sure to keep myself very busy. Night times are the worst but that's the time I usually get to sit down and surf the net and post on my message boards. I make sure I get in some kind of excercise during the day. Just plain old walking helps me out. I make sure that when I get up I actually get ready for the day and not stay in my pj's. Washing my face and putting my hair up makes me feel like at least I made an effort. I also like to keep in touch with my husband which isn't always easy. I send emails when I can and I write letters. I have a 3 year old daughter and we do things like draw pictures for daddy for when he comes back. Taking up a hobby has always helped. I write and I do some quilting. It keeps me busy even if I'm just watching my daughter watch TV. But since you're pregnant I would suggest making sure you do something special everyday to make the blues go away. I remember what I felt like when I was preg and little things like a nice shower, walk around the block or just a massage helped a lot. I hope you come back and visit the board and I so hope things get better for you. Good luck.

Kaleolani, Coast Guard wife and mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 5:51am
Hugs to you sweetie! First off, welcome to the board! We're glad you found us! We've got a great group of gals here, and before you know it, you'll be coming here to get your daily fix as well!

I don't have a whole lot of advice for you regarding your pregnancy, I've only had my DH gone during the pregnancy, but back for the birth, I'm not sure what your situation is. I can tell you this, if you have friends and family nearby, take the help that is extended! Also, stay busy, and focused on you and the baby. I know it might SOUND selfish, but it isn't, it's a form of survival...LOL!

Put yourself on a schedule, take walks, go to work(if you do) no matter what it is, keep a schedule, it will help make the days pass and keep them full. Also, come and visit this board! LOL! Try not to stress, it's not good for you or the growing baby. Your DH sounds like a very smart man, and he seems sensitive to your needs, to have suggested finding other women like yourself.

We hope to see you posting more often....you didn't say if you had other children, or if this is your first pregnancy, how far along are you?

I'm Chris, army wife to Troy(Korea) sahm to 3 in SC, for the time being!

Hugs,

Chris
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 7:06am
Hello there!

I'm Liz, Navy wife to John and SAHM to Zachary (5 weeks). :) This is our second deployment...the first was when we were engaged last year and this time, DH left when I was 7 mos. pregnant. And let me tell you ,the hormones took over the week DH left. My best advice is to STAY BUSY. Not so busy you wear yourself out,but find little things to get out of the house. Try a pre-natal yoga class, or other child-related classes. Focus on your little one that's preparing for his/her debut...the baby can feel the stress. :) Also try to find a mommies group or other friends who are military wives to be companions.:) I found one online and the ladies are wonderful! I went all the time when I was PG. :) schedule visitors or go visit family. :) Having little things to look forward to during the deployment always helps the time go by faster. :)

Please feel free to e-mail or IM me at anytime.

Liz

lizbassett02@aol.com or AIM lizbassett02

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 7:33am
Welcome to the board! I'm Jill, DW to Christopher who is in the Coast Guard. We live in Michigan - for now, we're getting ready to move to Virginia in June.

You've come to the right place for support from some great women! Any question you may have, chances are, we'll have an answer.

Great to have you here! Hugs, Jill

Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 8:39am
Welcome, you have definitely come to the right place! I am Michelle ARNG wife and WOHM to ds-4 and dd-2. I know exactly how you feel being pg and your dh gone. I had just found out I was pg with my ds when my dh left for basic. It sucked! It would have been worse though if it wasn't for my job and keeping busy. My advice is to keep your routine going, make sure that when you get up every morning get dressed all the way to shoes and fix your hair and face (whether you feel like it or not). Believe me, it will make you feel better to take care of yourself. Make sure you take your vitamins, drink plenty of water, eat enough, and take baths when you can, go get a massage (if you have the money), take walks, read books, listen to music, all of that stuff. Just make sure you are taking care of yourself and that baby! LOL I know I sound like a mother! hehe Cuz of course I am, but I can't stress enough that you need to take care of you.

Hope to see you posting more often and getting to know you better. These ladies are wonderful!

Lots of hugs to you.

Michelle


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Avatar for cl_melisca
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 9:33am
Hi. We're all getting used to these boards, so you're not alone with trying to figure these things out. Secondly, you've definitely come to the right place as far as missing your DH (dear husband) goes.

My little piece of advice is to come here often. Read other people's posts, offer what support you can, and ask for support when you need it. Sometimes just hearing that other people are going through what you are is enough to get you through the day.

((hugs)) and welcome!

:) Melissa, army wife in TX

Avatar for ms_suzzyq
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 11:51am
Sending tons of giant hugs!!! I'm glad you found us. I've received so much support and comfort from the ladies on this board that it has soemtimes been overwhelming. I have even made some wonderful friends. I know you are in a tough spot these days and things must be exceedingly difficult but you are not alone and you are going to do just fine with this deployment.

Keep posting and I'm sure the ladies here will be able to help you through this.

Hugs,

Susan

Avatar for annewall2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 11:55am
Hi there!! I know how you are feeling and he was right,you really need to get some friends for yourself.Everyone here is great!!!!Big hugs to you and we all will get through this.

Karen

Proud army NG wife & sahm of 2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 12:22pm
I know where you are right now. I was there last year. So I feel for you. I thought things were going great I was four months pregenant and then I got a shocker, my dh was leaving for Afghanistan. So I know how things can be. I went home to mommy while he was away and he made it home just in time to see our baby born in August. It was difficult having to go through everything and not be able to share the joys of it with my dh. But I got a camera and took lots of pictures. I filled two albums just for him to see my belly grow and the things I did. Of course the doctor I was going to knew my dh was gone so he would print off pictures of the baby all the time for me to add to my scrapbook to dh. It is something he loves to look at. He couldn't be there for me in person but he was there in heart and I know that is what counts. Now he is away again to fight this war in Iraq. He has been gone since Feb. 26. It has been trying but just like last time I write him daily, love him always, and take tons of pictures of his growing baby, who is now seven months old. I know he misses Jay and Jay misses daddy but in time we will be able to sit down and watch the home movies and look at the pictures. He won't miss much and He knows we care. But I guess that comes with being a RAKASAN wife.

Samantha proud Army wife of Mikey and Mommy to Jay.

If you need to talk feel free to email me at tinkerbell_sks@msn.com my yahoo id is sks_qtpie and my msn id is liljaybugsmom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 12:25pm
I too am new to the board as well as a military wife and mom. I just wanted to let you know that I am here and if I can help at all I will. Even if you just need to talk about anything I will listen. I don't know any of those abbrivations the other wives us so maybe we can learn them together. Best of luck to you and the baby. Like I said if you would like to talk I am here. My email is bmwolfe23@comcast.net.

Blair proud 3rd ID army wife of Michael

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