Just having one of those days.

Avatar for gargoyle89
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Just having one of those days.
4
Sun, 04-06-2003 - 10:21pm
Well dh (in Coast Guard) left for some training and evaluation with the Navy in CA last week. I'm having some bad pms hormones flying around, a sore throat that's at least finally going away, my head feels like it's splitting in two, my sister's friend finally left and this house is a mess. To top it all off I found out by way of the Ombudsman (once again my husband was going to tell me later but someone beat him to it. I hate getting the scoop from someone else when he should have told me) that their schedule has been changed so his school he was going to is hanging in the balance. So I might be seeing him in a couple of months or I might be seeing him in 6 months. I think I'm going to lock myself in the bathroom with a pillow and just scream and scream. I'm pissed and nervous and feel so helpless. I hate this feeling sometimes. I hate these times where everything seems like it's unraveling. I know things will be better. I wish I could call my mom and talk to her about it but I don't want to chance it being one of those days where she tells me, "Well you knew this could happen when you said he could join the Coast Guard." Why the hell do people say that? I know what I was getting into but that doesn't negate the feelings of worry and darn hormones that make things seem worse. Ok well I'm going to try the screaming and then I'm going to clean this wreck of a house and see if that makes things better. I might try dh's cell phone and cry on him too since this is all his fault for wanting to be in the Coast Guard. :) I know it's not true but it's worth a nice momentary guilt trip. Thanks for letting me vent.

Kaleolani

Avatar for ms_suzzyq
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 12:27am
Oh hun, I totally understand what you mean. It is like you desperately want something to be for sure...something to count on. It is so hard when everything can change at a moments notice and even something you think you can count on has a hundred different variables so it might not happen.

Also, parents are sometimes not overly helpful and supportive either. Hopefully you can talk with your DH tonight and it will help make things seem better.

Huge hugs Kaleolani,

Susan

Avatar for gargoyle89
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 5:41am
Thank you so much for your kind words. I did finally get a hold of my husband and talked to him. I have continued to try and ask him before he left and after he left what he thought about the possiblity of him being deployed. He apparently misunderstood what I was asking. He kept telling me not to worry that he didn't think they would go anywhere. I finally spelled out the fact that I didn't think he would be deployed to the gulf. I think he might be deployed stateside for homeland security. Now that he understood what I was saying he finally said yes that's a very good posibility. It was good to finally have him understand and tell me what I was thinking wasn't way off base but then to have it confirmed didn't help with the crying. So I haven't watched anything sappy or the news all night and I've stopped crying. :-) My oh so sweet daughter just kept comming up to me and in a very dramatic actress voice with a mock quivering lip kept saying, "Oh mama. Why you crying." Thank God my 3 year old can make me laugh as much as her daddy can. Tomorrow is a new day and I'll be so much better after pms is done. :-) Thank you again. There's no words to express how much it makes me feel not to alone to have you guys to talk to here. Thank you.

Kaleolani

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 10:10am
Ahh, I know your pain, hon. I hope you talk with DH soon - and get the air clear on when he'll be home. Good for you for keeping in touch with the Ombudsman. I'm the one here for DH's boat and sometimes I know more than the CO's wife, lol!

Feel free to scream all you want, you're definitely allowed! I'm thinking of you and hope you know that you're not alone.

BTW, have you checked out mycoastguard.com? Or www.coastiechicks.net? They are message boards for Coastie spouses and are a great resource for CG related matters.

Hope you feel better having vented!

Huge hugs, Jill

Avatar for gargoyle89
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 4:11pm
Thank you for the kind words and those web sights. I'll go check them out. I'm still on the weepy side today but nothing like yesterday. I'll be happy when my period is over. :-) Dumb thing makes me way too emotional.

Kaleolani