In-Law Drama

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2011
In-Law Drama
9
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 2:49pm

While at my cousin's wedding, my brother-in-law (my sister's husband) made a pass at me. It wasn't just drunken flirting, he stated several times that he thinks about me while masturbating. I immediately told my husband that we had to leave. While saying goodbye to the bride and groom, he came up to me and stated that he wasn't kidding and that I shouldn't tell my sister. I was very upset and embarrassed and told my husband immediately.

I'm not sure what to do? She doesn't get along with his family and she lives in his parent's house. They have two small children under the age of 2. Before this incident, we all really liked him. But now, I think he is a complete dirtbag and family get-togethers are very awkward, as the only other person who knows is my husband. I want to tell my sister, however, she's an airhead. I'm afraid that she'll take his side and that will damage our relationship. What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
In reply to: dania79
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 1:20pm
Ugh. What did your husband say when you told him? I think that no matter what you do, your BIL has put you in a terrible position.

Are you close to your sister? If it was my BIL, I would probably tell my sister because, odds are, she'll find out eventually and it would be best if it came from me.

Had he been drinking when this happened? Not that that excuses his behavior, but it might help explain it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2010
In reply to: dania79
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 7:17pm
Wow, that sounds like a nightmare. I have to agree with the previous poster, you've been put in an awful spot.
Go with your gut instinct. If you feel like this is information your sister won't believe or can't handle, then don't tell her.
Honestly, I'd avoid him like the plague. If he's unhinged enough to say all of this to you, there's really no telling how far he's willing to push boundaries.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2007
In reply to: dania79
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 8:50pm
I agree. Go with your instinct. However, if I was in this position I would tell my sister even if she doesn't listen to me. Because the truth will come out eventually and in the end she would come around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
In reply to: dania79
Sun, 07-17-2011 - 5:18pm

What a terrible position to be in!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2010
In reply to: dania79
Mon, 07-18-2011 - 1:23am

I would tell my sister.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2011
In reply to: dania79
Mon, 07-18-2011 - 4:10pm
My husband was livid, but realized that confronting him would make matters worse. I am close to my sister, but a part of me is angry for even being with him. He doesn't stand up for her when his family all pile up on her. And my sister really is a nice person...she's just an airhead.

And I think that if I tell her, that she might argue with him but ultimately stay. If she were to stay, I think I would just get very, very angry with her and that would ruin our otherwise close relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2011
In reply to: dania79
Mon, 07-18-2011 - 4:12pm
Oh for sure! He hit on my cousin's friend too...at a family gathering! What would you do if you told your sister and she stayed with him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2011
In reply to: dania79
Mon, 07-18-2011 - 4:14pm
Oh he wanted to...believe me. But we were at a wedding and my husband is good enough to realize that it would have ruined my cousin's day (like in rh of new jersey). But he has already stated that he's going to pull him aside at the next family gathering.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2011
In reply to: dania79
Mon, 07-18-2011 - 4:15pm
I would hope so. I'm just so mad at her. Like he disgusts me. But I'm irrationally mad at her for even being with someone so slimy!!