My BF just left for bootcamp, Need support & advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
My BF just left for bootcamp, Need support & advice!
6
Fri, 05-06-2011 - 12:55am

Hi there...

So I met my boyfriend last year in August and we started hanging out casually...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2011

My situation sounds something like yours. I got divorced and met my perfect man back in Sept. He had retired after 20yrs in the army. He had told me from the get-go that he might go back overseas but I just kind of blew it off. I thought "ok whatever...you retired...youre not going anywhere". Plus I also fell head over heels in love, and so it didnt matter to me because I wanted to stick with him. Well....he left a month ago for Afghanistan and will be gone for 18mos.

I

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008

Thank you for your response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
"But, I guess those things are just a formality. You can be just as committed without it."

This is spot on. Don't jump into a marriage because of the circumstances. I'm not a person who thinks you have to be with someone for a specific amount of time before getting married but I do think you don't get married as a solution to a problem.

This time apart is a good test of your relationship. It's hard to be away but if you really love someone, you find a way to make it work. I was long distance with my DH for 3 years while I was in college before we got married . It was a long, hard 3 years but we got through it.

You are getting a good intro into military life right now. See how you two function during this time apart. Plan visits while he is in school (when he will have privileges for that kind of stuff. tech schools are just as scheduled and restrictive right away as basic training). This will get you used to deployments and him being away where you don't have the option of moving to be with him.

Good luck. I honestly feel like as long as you have a good foundation, you can make it through anything.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2011
Yeah..the being lonely part is hard. All of my friends are married, have kids, jobs... They arent around much. I have my son which is great, but of course it isnt the same as having adult company or your man around. You are right that the time passes too. He's been gone for 6wks and for the most part it did fly. This weekend I missed him alot...it was hard, but as long as I try to keep occupied its alright. You'll do just fine too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2011

My husband and i have been together for 20 yrs and he is in his 17th yr in the army and is gone for very long periods of time as a combat soldier there are ways that you can make it work....We are the best of friends ...he is my soulmate .....and we get closer with ever deployment ...if you need some support send me yr yahoo id i would be more than happy to give some support....thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008

Thanks everyone!

Thank you mycaptainmyhero...