Need some serious advise????? Please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2011
Need some serious advise????? Please help
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 2:31am

I am a mother of 6 four children are my own and the other 2 are his. I hate putting it like that but, I had to just explain.... Well my husband is doing a tour in Korea for a year and I have three teens. Twins 18 and my daughter who is 17. ( I'll give a little run down). I was a single mother for 17 years, then I met my wonderful husband who has been nothing but patient with my children. My children are teens so as some of us know that is a challenge by itself. I know that my kids are not perfect but they are pretty good kids. My boys got there certificates for Firefighting and daughter was testing for college. To sum that up, well I was a teen mom that has done anything that I could to better my kids life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2007
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 9:34am

I am sorry you are going through this right now. I know that deployment is difficult enough without the added stress that kids add to it. Of course the thing to remember here is kids are kids whether dad is home or not and they sometimes act out and make rash decisions that have huge consequences. I am afraid I don't have much advice on speaking to your husband. I guess a lot has to do with your relationship. Personally I believe in total honesty.

Now, because I am a youth leader I feel this desperate need to say this. I know you did not really ask and are probably already thinking of this, but it is just my nature. The mistake has been made. However you and your daughter decide to go forward from here what she needs now is your love and total support. I would help a lot if your husband and you were on the same page with this. She really is going to have enough to deal with without feeling as though she has caused problems between you and him. I do hope you can all find a way to make this a positive thing and look back to realize it made you all stronger as a family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 11:09am
I obviously don't know you or your husband or the relationship you have but I honestly don't think this will make him change his mind about being with you! What's done is done and the most important thing is how you all go forward and deal with the situation at hand. Your husband is your support. He will be there for you in dealing with all of this. I think you should just tell him like you told us here. I can't imagine he would be anything other than understanding and caring, knowing this is hard for you.

Good luck to you all.


Avatar for momrisner
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-1998
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 8:02am

Having been through the remote to Korea, I know that one of the things you don't want to do is add to the stress, but sometimes things are out of our control, unfortunately. At this point, honest is the best wat to be at this point and you neeed to talk to your dh.