Someone to Listen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2011
Someone to Listen
Mon, 03-21-2011 - 6:22pm

Hi ladies, I've been searching for a while for a thread for Army wives, and I'm thankful that I've finally found one. I'm in a rut right now, and I just need to be able to talk to someone who understands the pains of being an Army wife.

Let me start off by introducing myself. I'm Jacquie and I have two beautiful little girls (21 months and 5 months). Hubby and I have been married for two years. After our baby was born last October, hubby went on TDY to Ft Jackson for AIT since he reclassed, so the kids and I moved in with my parents so I could have some help with our girls. We are PCSing to Ft Hood next month (and I can't tell you how excited I am to have my family back together).

But in the mean time, I'm having a hard time. It's hard staying with my parents because I don't have many friends out here, and even though I go involved in a playgroup for the kids, all the other moms are so much older than I am, so it's hard to connect with them. My mom acts like it's not okay for me to be sad because I knew what I was signing up for when I married him. But just because I knew what I was in for, doesn't mean that I don't struggle sometimes. I grew up with a military family, so I knew all about the PCSing and the separation. I already knew how hard it was going to be, but when you love someone, it shouldn't matter.

OK, so I've gotten a bit off topic. It's hard to not have anyone to talk to. I mean, don't get me wrong, hubby is great, but he doesn't understand how I feel and I try not to tell him how hard things are sometimes because I know things are hard enough on him. The night's are the hardest, laying in bed by myself just makes me cry. The baby sleeps in the room with me, and on the really bad nights I'll let her sleep in bed with me just so I have someone to cuddle with. My older daughter runs around the house with a phone saying "Hi, Daddy" and it is so sweet it makes me cry. She misses her daddy so much, I keep telling hubby that once she sees him again she will never leave his sight. He's going to have a permanent shadow, lol.

Thanks for listening ladies. I look forward to getting to know everyone on here.

- MommyFish

Community Leader
Registered: 07-07-2008
Mon, 03-21-2011 - 7:48pm
Welcome to the baords. I'm sorry you've been having a hard time with being apart. I hope your PCS goes smoothly!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 03-21-2011 - 8:53pm
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Nothing drives me more crazy than the whole "you knew what you were getting into" mentality. It's just ridiculous. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like it's not ok to be sad. Of COURSE you are going to be sad sometimes. It's hard when your family is not together.

Just hang in there and keep focusing on next month when you will be together again.

My husband and I are at Ft. Hood. I'll only be here a couple more months and then he is deploying and I will be moving back to South Dakota to be with my family.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2011
Mon, 03-21-2011 - 10:41pm

Thanks ladies, it's nice to know that someone else understands what I'm going through.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 8:42am

Welcome to the board. I am much like you. I am also very young and I have 2 kids. Most of my friends here on our base (we're AF) are much older than I am so its hard and I also came from a mil family but luckily my mom remembers being jerked around like I am, although she says it seems worse now that when my dad was in (I was 2 years old when he retired from the Navy so I was BARELY a mil brat)

Hang in there and keep your eyes on the prize, having your family back together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 12:38pm

Welcome to the board mommyfish!

It's hard to have a spouse gone whether 1 month or 1 year and not a lot of people understand it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 4:47pm
Welcome. My name is Cammie and I'm at Hood! I'm sorry your mom is acting like that. DH has been in 17 years and even though I know what to expect that doesn't mean it doesn't suck sometimes. Hang in there and come here to vent /talk anytime.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2011
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 9:14am
The pain of being with a military man will bring so much strength to your relationship in the long run. Stay strong, Stay Proud and remember that if it was not for you and your husband he would not stay sane and our countries defenses would not be near as strong. I was a military brat growing up and I know how it is to have a dad tdying all the time it was hard but every time he came home it was well worth the wait because I knew what my dad was doing! It might help your children by helping them understand what daddy is doing that way they are proud and want to tell their friends. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2011
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 4:44pm

Assoon as my girls are old enough to understand, I will explain to them what their daddy does and how proud they should be of him, they are still babies right now (1 year old and a 5 month old). I'm full of pride for my husband, and I agree, the pain is worth it and will strengthen us in the long run. The deployments, the PCSing, the separation, and the's all worth it for the man I love.