The Tape...........

Avatar for rececup
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
The Tape...........
10
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 11:51am
hello everyone,

well dh has been gone since saturday,i can`t stop crying i have asked my family to give me a week to adjust to him being gone bc they started calling imediately and i need some alone time, most of the wives and children at my girls school are sad and upset , my youngest put a picture of her dad on the wall in her favorite part of the room in her class. the worst time for us seems to be at night we always said prayers together when he was home and he left us a tape so he could say prayers with us while he is gone. everytime we watch and say prayers with him through a tv screen it makes us sad and the girls start crying really hard, it`s like he is there but we know he is really worlds away. i thought about not playing the tape but the girls look forward to seeing him and listening to him pray with us, just tell me this gets better, tell me i will stop crying everyday,i pray for all of us who go through, have gone through, or are going through this seperation pain bc ouch it really hurts!!!!!!

sad but proud army wife,

rece

ps

the tape was a great idea i just hurts to watch him right now,how long do you think it will be before i hear from him?
Avatar for skisgirl
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 11:57am
Oh Rece!

Your post is breaking my heart, but I think as much as it may hurt, that the girls need to see the tape, perhaps you can leave the room as they watch it?

I think you do need the alone time, tell family and friends thanks for the offers but you need time to adjust and when you're ready, you'll give them a call.

I'll pray for your family,

Stacey

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 12:23pm
I know where you are coming from. It seems to get easier after time but it will always hurt a little bit. I try to thing posititive but it doesn't always work. You will have bad days we all do and there will be good days to. The tears will stop after a while that I know for sure. When you and your little ones are sad thing of the funny things you dh does or times you have had that were fun. I also taped my dh for my son, he is only 7 months but the tapes help him remember Daddy. I have almost two hours of dh on tape. I wish I had more though. Just think posititive and things will get better. Also the first couple times you talk to dh you will be crying and laughing and having all your emotions all at once. I know I did. I have had one call since dh was gone but I hope to hear from him really soon. His first combat deployment I heard from him a lot because he worried about me a lot, I was pregenant. But things are a lot different this time around. He isn't as close to a phone as he was last time. But I know in heart he is there and thinks of me always and our ds too. Keep in mind that in your heart he is there for you always.

Sam

Avatar for rececup
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 5:09pm
that is exactly what i told my family i hope they understand as far as the girls i agree with you watching him is something they need so i guess we will continue to pray with him and cry together until it hurts a little less each time

love

rece
Avatar for rececup
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 5:14pm
thank you sam your advice is appreciated and taken to heart. i hope he calls soon i want to at least know he made it there safely. patience is key for me right now so i don`t lose my mind wondering why he hasn`t called yet,again thank you

love rece
Avatar for scarlett_begonia
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 10:30pm
Depending on where he's gone to it may be a while. My DH is on the front lines & unless he has time to write I dont expect to hear anything from him until he's relieved. Today was a total shock--I received mail from him that was postmarked 29 March so I know he's getting my mail!!

Hang in there---no one ever said being a MW was easy. If it were everyone would want to do it! There is a great group of women here & I have been fortunate to get to know some of them & am grateful to them for helping me thru my tough times. A bunch of us chat almost nightly on AIM--my id is scarlettarmywife if you choose to IM me!!

Give yourself time to get used to him not being home & keep praying w/ your girls for him---I think that's wonderful that you have a tape! I listen to DH's voice at night before going to sleep---I have 2 tapes he made when he was in Kuwait last summer. Take care!!

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Avatar for seamour
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 11:02pm
sending you and the kids big big hugs. Yes it will get better but it's definately heartwrenching at first, and even once you get feeling better, you will have relapses. Just allow yourself to "survive" during those days, keep your kids close with lots of hugs and loving.

Mic

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Avatar for cl_americanarose
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Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 4:44am
(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))

I hope it gets a little easier soon. The tape is a wonderful thing to have though! Hopefully you hear from him soon!

Huge hugs

Rose

Avatar for cl_melisca
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 10:51am
Nothing to say, just wanted to offer you HUGS. :) Melissa
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 7:27pm
Oh Rece hon,

I video taped my husband before he left and he made a secret video for me to watch after he left. I haven't even been able to bring myself to watch the one I taped. I watched the secret video he did for the second time last night (he's been gone for over a week) and I really think my heart stopped. I had such a horrible pain in my chest. I didn't know if my heart was breaking or if it were going to explode. I miss him terribly. I don't know how all this goes. I have never been through a deployment before. I wish you the best of luck and hope that everything gets easier. I just want you to know that you are not alone. I think all of us are going through this.

Cheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 9:34pm
I promise you the pain will ease up, although there will be days that might hurt just as much as the first. Just keep reminding yourself that this to shall pass. My husband has been deployed for going on 6 months now, I just try to keep busy with my 3(small) children, and write as many letters and gather up boxes as possible. I warn you though the first few phone calls and letters you recieve will be the hardest to handle, and some of the saddest moments after you hang up, or read the last "I love you", but just bear in mind, he'll be home soon, and you still have the rest of your lives together.