... worried

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2010
... worried
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 10:06am

... im not sure im in the right place... but, the man i love... with all of my heart... is currently serving his 4th tour in afghanistan. he is USMC HEO... needless to say... i am worried about him. things have been very hard fro him over there and every precious moment i get with him... his main concern, hes so afraid im growing impatient and ready to say goodbye... because he cant be there for me like before. i understand. i understand how busy he is... and i understand that he cant be on all the time. i tell him that i do understand and to focus... cause i will always be here, right here waiting. besides, i know he has my heart... and thats what keeps me going.

when i do get time with him... he is so upset at our friends. they say things to him that he is selfish, arrogant for NOT returning emails, or getting in contact. he is living day by day there... and it hurts me to see him upset and feeling guilty that he cant be there for everyone else. i do think this adds to our stress.... i love this man, would give my last breath for him... and, yes, not a day goes by that i dont think about him.... and wish he was right here with me. i am so very proud of him.... i just wish i could do something for him... and give him every reason NOT to doubt me. i write every other day... keeping it happy, silly... telling him about my days. i do always end the letters with reasons i love him and continue to love him and yes, always will love him... and remind him that although he may be there... hes still right here with me... all the time.

sorry. i just needed to vent... and maybe find a place where i can talk with others who understand. its funny, our friends all give me the cold shoulder about this... saying that in a world of technology, i can talk to him all the time. they do not get it. they just do not get the fact that he is fighting a war...

... i miss him so much.

Edited 7/22/2010 10:43 am ET by ka79
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
In reply to: ka79
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 11:20am

Well, you definitely found people who will understand!!

It is hard for some people to get that the people over there can't just stop what they are doing to make a phone call or send an email. There are all sorts of misconceptions about what goes on over there. Ask how many military spouses have been asked if their husbands get to come home from Afghanistan for Christmas!! To us, it's just crazy that people don't understand that a war doesn't stop because it's Christmas but for people who are so far removed from it, it seems like a logical question, I guess.

I think you are doing everything you can do. Just keep reassuring him that you are there for him and will always be there for him. The rest is up to him, he has to trust in you and your relationship.

Hang in there.