Engaged to new firefighter/emt need help

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2011
Engaged to new firefighter/emt need help
6
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 2:28pm

hello everyone here goes a book,

let me first off start by saying that it is so nice to find

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2007
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 6:42pm
Is the 24/48 job paid or volunteer?

that will have something to do wtih my reply ;)

I'm sorry you're hurting so :( It sounds like a really hard situation you're in right now. Let me know the answer to my question so I can continue my reply.


PS - I'm Jami married to Don - career FF/paramedic in Portland, Oregon.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2011
Thu, 01-27-2011 - 12:37pm

Thanks for your reply,

it is paid, but not very well. It's a salaried position at 21,000.

He starts out as an EMT only doing ambulance calls, as he is EMT certified, and within a year they will get him fire certified. Then the pay will go up 1,000. It is a joint fire/ems house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2011
Sat, 02-12-2011 - 2:34pm
My husband is a fire over a 6 day period man and paramedic works 24 hours shifts over 6 days one off one on and is off for 4 days and on those days in the middle he works a 36 hour firefighter shift, and also does some unpaid volunteer time, the money isnt great but they are both county jobs and have great benifits. His job never really bothered me until we had a child and our daughter is 3 and I recently started working from home because since she hardly sees him I wanted her to have at least one parent home with her, I am pregnant with our 2nd child and him working 24 hours is hard at night when I am by myself at night. but the days off in between are nice that we can be together most of the day.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2007
Fri, 02-18-2011 - 12:13am
I've been giving your posts a lot of thought. I think it's time the two of you sit down and discuss your priorities, your goals for your relationship, his goals and plans for his career (how long he plans to be absent), and put all cards on the table.

You have been together a long time. However, as we grow, we sometimes grow in different directions and sometimes one or the other assumes that you are both still on the same path, when you may not be. BUT without a real conversation, you'll never know. You may still be and the extra stress of your injury may be pulling things to a head because you are unable to work and have to focus on the lack of his presence and can really see how often he's not there.

You really need to work this out before you get married, and def before you have kids.

Are you definitely where you want to stay(I.e. Location) or does he test elsewhere?

In general terms Im not seeing a lot of compromise on his part. A conversation about this really needs to have nothing but "I" statements from you. You need to keep your feelings short and to the point and as much as you can, tell him how you feel instead of "you do this and you do that". That will turn his ears right off.

Take what is helpful from what I've said, and toss the rest. Hope something helps.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2006
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 8:11am

Hello, I'm Glynn (22) and I'm married to Z (25) who has a full time job outside of firefighting, but he is a volunteer Firefighter/ Paramedic (YAY he did it!).

I know you are at a difficult place in your life and relationship, and my advice may seem too simple, or as if I don't understand your situation completely.




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 9:58am

I have been a FFW for 11 years. DH is a career FF