I HATE the JOB

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2012
I HATE the JOB
4
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 10:39pm

Every lady on here sounds so positive, so I hate to ruin this beautiful blog with what I am about to post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2012
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 7:46pm

Thank you for your response and advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 12:14pm
probieswife,
I may be stepping on wrong territory here, as I am an ExW of a fireman, but I can TOTALLY understand and relate to what you are saying.
I was with my Ex for 10 years and married 8 1/2 years, for which all 10 he was a fireman and still is. I hated his jobs with a passion and he would down right tell me his job is more important than me. He also held another part-time job that consisted of 24's on his off days as well as a 12 hr day shift on the other off days. There are some days he would be gone for 3-5 days at a time. After having our DD 5 years into our marriage and feeling like a single mom afterwards, I had eventually had enough.
While I understand 100% how you feel, and how jealous you may be of his time off, try to keep the positive ahead of the negative. I know easier said than done.
But after being D for over 2 years now, I STILL live my life on his rotating work shift. I tried being civil and working with him giving him almost everyday he asked for, even if it wasn't his day (only because the way his schedule would fall) only to have him deny me if I wanted DD on one of his off days.
The only advice I can truly give is to sit down with your DH and tell him you need more one on one time with him. That even though he may work the next day, there is absolutely no reason he can't take you to dinner and to a 7pm movie. Weekends are so laid back at most stations and he can rest then. He needs to understand your importance and that you need to feel that way to him. Lack of importance to my Ex is what pushed me away.
I truly wish you the best of luck and I'll listen to you vent anytime. BTDT!!! (((HUGS)))
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2012
Mon, 02-06-2012 - 10:13pm

Thank you for writing back and listening to all of my complaining!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 9:20pm
I'm sorry. That does sound really frustrating. How long have you been married?

What sort of things do you wish he would do on his days off? I've found that the best way to get my DH to do things is to just make him a list that he can check things off as he goes. I really didn't want to have to do that because it seemed too much like making chore boards for the kids, but it's really helped for him to see what needs to be done in list form.

What time does your DH have to get up in order to start his shift?