new.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2011
new.
4
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 3:04am

Hi everyone. My name is Amanda, I'm 20 and from PA. My fiancé, Kevin and I are getting married in May. He is a volunteer FF and EMT. I am currently in school for my EMT. Six months ago, I moved an hour and a half away from my friends and family to be with him so he could stay with his department. I lived in the city for most of my life and I am now in the middle of nowhere with no local friends. It has been a big (and not yet complete) adjustment. Though I don't regret it for a minute, I am still pretty terrified. I don't come from a family of FFs and everything about this lifestyle has been new to me. I'm still very much learning. And that is mainly what brought me here. I have no local support, but I know I need some sort of support system. The other FF's wives have not been very accepting of me, and the Lady's Auxiliary at our dept is pretty much a joke. So here

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2011
In reply to: missamanda20
Sat, 01-15-2011 - 4:54pm

Hi Julie, nice to "meet" you. And thank you so much. This is the first time in quite a while that someone has made me feel like I made the right decision giving up everything I know and what I'm used to for this lifestyle. Him and I both work full time jobs, so between the fire department, school, and work it has been absolutely insane. Hopefully thought it will get better soon. Right now we are on completely opposite schedules, and it is very rare that we are both home at the same time. There are some weeks I go

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2011
In reply to: missamanda20
Sat, 01-15-2011 - 3:36pm

I'm not sure, maybe the not accepting thing was a bad way to put it. They just aren't really around. The majority have absolutely nothing to do with the department. And the ones Kevin is close with are a lot older than us, and

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
In reply to: missamanda20
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 1:34pm

Amanda, I too am sorry you are having a rough time with the transition.

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Kids Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2007
In reply to: missamanda20
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 1:10pm
Amanda,

I'm sorry you're having a rough transition to your new area, new life. Try to hang in there through this time period as it will get easier, but that doesn't help you now, right!?!

When you say the wives have not been very accepting of you, what do you mean? How big is this department? Are there any that are close to your age? Is there another FF that your SO is close with that you could go out on a date with as a 4some to get to know another gal? Maybe try the ladies one at a time? Have something at your house and invite them to it - I find that most people are just scared of new things - you being the new thing. It sounds as though you're in a much smaller area now, and new comers are probably met with skepticism......which is unfortunate. Our old department was very small and I know what you're talking about.

I would really try the one on one with your SO and another FF and his SO/spouse first. Get the ball rolling so you have someone to talk with.

As far as this lifestyle..its different for everyone. For every department. There are upsides, and there are downsides (which there are WAY more pros than cons). How much longer will you be in school? What will you do after you're finished? When you have your own network of work associates and friends....it will get easier.

Hope this helps some. Let us know what you decide to do about a get together or a date to meet some new people.

Photobucket