new cop wife

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2012
new cop wife
Tue, 11-20-2012 - 3:02am

Hello everyone,

I am new to the boards.  I just got married last month to a police officer.  I thought maybe it would be a good idea for me to learn a little from some experienced wives of police officers.

Some back ground info about me....... I am a mom of 4 children.... ranges from 16 yrs old to 5. I became a widow 5 yrs ago and struggled with being a single mom all of a sudden.  2 years ago I re met a man I went to high school with and we started seeing eachother.  He did not have any children or any experience with children but he went out of his way to try to come up with fun things for all of us to do together and build a relationship with the kids.  He is such a good man who lives with integrity.  everythig and more than I could ask for.

Ok............... so Thanksgiving is coming up......... and he is working on Thanksgiving so my husband said we will celebrate it on the day after; Friday.  Fine by me... but my oldest said WHAT??............. we have to celebrate Thanksgiving ON Thanksgiving!!   So I thought ok we'll do both days..... (trying to keep everyone happy)  This did not make my husband happy.  He said No........... we're not doing 2 Thanksgivings.  You need to understand you married into a cop family..... and this is how it is sometimes. 

So I guess I have some learning to do.  I feel very blessed to be in love with such a good man and to have a man who is such a good husband and father. 

So if anyone has any advice to a new cop wife.......... Id love to hear it.

Thank you,


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2010
Tue, 11-20-2012 - 8:36pm

Hello! Welcome to our board!!

Oh Gosh... The holidays. Yes they can be pretty hard in those beginning years. Your kids, being older when you all entered the Law Enforcement life, are definately going to have a hard time adjusting. Too many years I've spent holidays with my hubby working. The worst is visiting HIS family without HIM there. Christmas is the hardest. So many years we had Santa come a day early just so that we could fit "normal" into the schedule.

Is there anything else special that you can do with the kids on the actual day of Thanksgiving. Start a new tradition that they may enjoy? Has a friend or someone in the family asked you over for the day? A movie the kids would want to see? Church that's having a dinner?

I know it's crappy to have to swing things around.... especially when the kids say "But we've ALWAYS done it this way". Things have changed and I know they wouldn't really feel good about leaving your new hubby out of Thanksgiving. Then hope and pray he has off Christmas or Christmas eve.


I'm Shelly BTW. I've been with my cop hubby for almost 18 years. His schedule still stinks most of the time but he's much quicker to take a holiday off if he can.

I hope you can work things out so that everyone is happy. Seems us mothers are always the jugglers and magicians in the house Wink

Avatar for vegiemama
Community Leader
Registered: 01-06-2000
Thu, 11-22-2012 - 1:58am

It's nice to "meet" you here.  Welcome to the world of emergency wives.  I've been married to my cop hubby for 21 years.  I also work in the emergency world...I'm a 911/medical dispatcher.  In our family, I'm now the one working holidays, though I've certainly had my fair share of his working on them now.  (He retired but didn't like retirement so he works for a small town two-man force.  They're too cheap to pay holiday pay, so he gets the day off and gets 8 hours' pay.  So he never has to work a holiday anymore and the tables are turned because he's the one at home without me some of the time!)

As for your family life...eeks, that's tough, with the new marriage and the kids still working things out.  Give them some time to adjust and I bet they'll come around.  I agree with Shelly...see what you can do to build some new traditions.  But, your hubby also has to can't always wait for his day off, either.  Sometimes it might mean just shifting the time of the celebration but still celebrating on the day.  Hopefully he doesn't draw every holiday through the end of the year, so you can gradually work things out.  It sounds like he's a terrific guy, for you and your kids.  I hope your holiday weekend is enjoyable, even though he does have to work!

Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

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