Life Insurance

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2014
Life Insurance
Tue, 06-03-2014 - 10:01am

Need advice.  About 6 months ago my husband's financial advisor told him to take out more life insurance, in which he did.   Last week my husband found out he has a tumor of some sort that has to be removed. Won't know if it's malignant until surgery. Yestereday he mentioned cancelling his new life insurance policy. I told him to do whatever he wanted but he knew I was very hurt. I told him I felt as though he didn't care about me by doing so at this paticular time. I have always been by his side is all of his illnesses, ex wife & children drama & anything else that has come up.  I pray that surgery will go well & it will be non cancerous, but what if it isn't? He now thinks that all I care about is the money. I have told him to change his beneficiary immediately to anyone but me to show that I dont' care about the money. I don't know what else to do. It just appears as though he doesn't care about me due to the timing of the life insurance cancellation.  Am I wrong? What do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 06-03-2014 - 10:40am

Did he say why he wanted to cancel the insurance policy?  It seems that it would be a very bad financial decision to cancel this policy now because if in fact he does have cancer, then he won't be able to buy another policy later.  I remember when I was first married and had to convince my (now ex) DH that we BOTH should get life insurance when we bought a house.  He said jokingly that I would be happy if he died cause I'd get money.  I said I would of course be sad if he died, but did he want me to be poor and lose the house too?  Right now your DH might just be saying things because he is afraid of dying, but he should want to provide for you if he is gone.  I would not encourage him to change the beneficiary to someone else--there must have been a reason that the financial advisor told him to get more insurance.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Tue, 06-03-2014 - 1:17pm

Your husband is in denial about his condition, and by cancelling the insurance, he is "proving" to himself he doesn't really need it.  At this point, your husband is NOT capable of making proper decisions about his care, or his life.  And YOU need to stop making stupid aquiesences ( like saying, take me off the insurance) to a man who is not thinking clearly.  You need to get in touch with his doctor, or your family doctor, & describe what is happening.  Ask the doctors how you can get him into counseling, or have him declared unfit, so YOU can make healthcare and financial decisions.  Do this ASAP, or you will be left with nothing.  Even if this diagnosis is NOT terminal, he won't be able to get life insurance anymore, and he obviously did not have enough BEFORE this happened.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 06-13-2014 - 12:41pm


Yea, he is acting out of fear.  Because canceling makes no sense what-so-ever.  And changing the beneficiary doesn't make sense, either.  That was you acting out of fear.  :)  

Good luck and I hope this has already worked out okay.  

Serenity CL making a marriage work