need help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2014
need help!
Thu, 04-10-2014 - 2:02pm

long story but im going to make it short. me and my ex wife got married and had 2 kids young by the age of 20. i am in the military and in 06 was shipped to korea for a year while she was pregnant with the second baby. the distance killed me and i broke down while i was over there i made mistakes by cheating and i asked her for a divorce. the situation got bad when i realized that i wanted them back in my life i tried but she didnt trust me and being so young i kept doing the wrong things and making the situation worse! eventually we hated eachother she kept me from the kids and i hurt cause i never did wrong by them. over the years ive tried and then suddenly 2 months ago we started communicating again as friends. two weeks ago i took her on a date and did things for her like pick her up from work and just hang out even if it was for an hour. when we would talk she would always bring up the past even though im a changed man i did my best to let her get it out but to also reassure her that im different. throughout this last three weeks she has been debating on us having a relationship again. one minute shes talking about us living together the next she so fearfull and to scared. yesterday she came to the conclusion that she sees that ive changed and we love eachother but she cant get over her fear of me possibly leaving again. i want my family back what do i do

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: mprun04
Fri, 04-11-2014 - 12:18pm

IMO you need therapy.  From what your posted i get a desperation vibe.  It is like you have placed all your emotional eggs in this basket.   It is way too early to tell anything.  Seek therapy to help you center on yourself.