REUNITING WITH CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
REUNITING WITH CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART
5
Thu, 08-14-2014 - 11:39am

My childhood sweetheart and I met when we were 19 years old.  After a year of dating we broke it off due to distance issues (he was in the navy and gone for long periods of time)We did see each other again a few years later and stayed in touch until I got married.  After my 20 year marriage ended in divorce I called my friend and we did see each other a few times in person. He lives in the same state as I do.  We continue to keep in touch via text messages, phone calls and an occasional funny email.  I recently had AC problems and since he owns his own AC business and told me if I ever need him to call.  I did as my unit went out on me and a few days later he came to my house to repair it.  He ended up hanging out with me till nearly 2 in the morning. We talked, laughed, it was a lot of fun.  I would like to go out "on a date" and see where things go but he hasn't asked me.  I'm thinking if he was interested he would have asked me by now, its been nearly 3 weeks since we were together.  I have the opinion that he should pursue me.  What do you guys think?  We are both 53 and both single.  Open to advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 08-14-2014 - 11:50am

I am always torn on this question because as a modern woman I feel that it shouldn't have to be men asking out women all the time.  However, from experience and just watching what happens with friends, etc. I do know that when men are interested, they usually do not waste any time asking the woman out.  I assume that this guy is single and he's obviously old enough to know how to ask for a date, so if he wanted to date you, what would be stopping him?  I do always wonder when I'm in the situation where it seems like we get along so well--why isn't he asking me out?  Like last night I went out with a man & woman that I know--I take dance lessons with both of them.  Probably 3 yrs ago I hoped this guy would ask me out--again we got him to go out a couple of times in a group (my friend knew that I liked him) but he never asked me out--yet I'd see him on dating sites all the time, so obviously he was looking for someone and I'd think "why not me?"  Well I just gave up and we are still friends but I know nothing more will ever happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2013
Thu, 08-14-2014 - 11:51am

Why don't you ask him out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 08-14-2014 - 11:57am

When he was leaving to go home we hugged and quick kiss while we said goodbye.  I did say to him, its been too long and we should get together and go out for dinner or a drink or a cup of coffee soon, let's not let time get away from us.  Of course he said your right, lets do that but he hasnt asked me.  So I did bring it up and put it out there. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 08-14-2014 - 11:58am

Musiclover I agree with what your saying.  Based on what I've seen it rarely works out when the women pursues.  I think guys like to take the lead and in my mind if he does then i know he's truly interested. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2014
Wed, 09-24-2014 - 4:17pm

I agree the previous comments that most men will ask a woman out if he is interested but there are some exceptions to that rule. What if you reached out but didn't call it a date? Perhaps that would relieve some of the pressure.  You could say let's have lunch as a thank you for him helping you out. 

Additional food for thought.  I know of quite a few relationships where the woman pursued the man.  My cousin and his wife are a prime example. They worked together and she was head over heels for him.  He turned her down at first then they had a casual relationship for a while. It developed into true love. He looks at her with stars in his eyes now.  You just never know so my point is you should go for it. The worst that could happen is that you remain occasional friends.