All behind me. Or...?
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|Mon, 03-18-2013 - 10:18am|
I became good friends with someone of the opposite sex. I did not see anything wrong with it, though we spoke intimately about emotions and our past, discussed politics, philosophy and psychology and enjoyed each other's company many hours every week. My partner was wary of it and we had several arguments.
In all honesty I had no romantic feelings for my friend. He is not my type and I am very much in love with my partner. However, my partner became increasingly emotionally abusive during this period. I was called names and I was put down, as well as sighed at, ignored and yelled at. I felt lonely, tired and at my witts end.
I went on holiday with a group of friends, including this male I was so emotionally close with. Due to having to move from our originally booked apartment we ended up sharing a room. At first we were just holding hands and hugging, but it soon went too far. We had some sexual contact and many kisses during the week we spent away from our homes. The sexual contact did in no way compare to my partner, but it felt so incredible for someone to act as if they liked me still, to speak to me with respect and to care about my emotions. The affair continued on an emotional level when we returned home. After three months I broke it off in the sense that I returned to purely platonic communication. We still spend time alone.
As I returned to purely platonic communication my friend told me he is in love with me. I feel awful about the ways I have hurt him and the deceit of my partner. The relationship with my partner is far better; it is now at a stage where we enjoy each other once more. He makes me feel appreciated, he speaks to me with respect, he listens and makes a true effort. We have our bumps in the road, but all in all there are no major issues. He does not know of my affair. If he did he would surely leave me.
It has been a year since the holiday and now we are planning another one. My friend is likely coming. How bad of an idea is this?