Back to Day 1

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Back to Day 1
4
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 4:22pm

(sigh)

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2011
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 5:01pm
Oh rb! What happened? 'we' exchanged texts, what were they? Who texted whom?

I'm sorry you're back at day 1. You have worked hard. Back at it, though!

Gypsy.
Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 9:27pm
How are you doing, sweetie?

Did you just get tired of the fight?

You're fine. Just a little stumble, now brush yourself off and keep moving forward, okay?

Hugs,

Kim

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 12:10am

Yes..I did just get tired of the fight. So I sent a text asking if he was still ignoring me. He sent a pretty funny reply back. And we agreed to give eachother space. (like LOTS of space..like maybe f-o-r-e-v-e-r space) And suddenly? That doesn't seem so frightening.

I hated the way we had left things. Him screaming..me sending needy texts. Especially since we had ended (or so I thought) on decent terms before that...So yes..I know this could continue if I don't stay n.c.

But in the meantime? I was hired tonight by a community center in a nearby town. Working with kids from the gangs...educational stuff.

I'm so glad. I miss working outside my home. I think getting out of the house and back to being a regular pay-check player will be a good move for me. And? The community center is really close to where I should be starting graduate school in the Fall.

And also? The band and all their families came to hang out tonight (it's sort-of a Monday thing) And as I was watching kids run around like banshees, while the band practiced and spouses just visited..I realized how lucky I am! And how I really don't need xAP. And I really don't want to lose this life I have.

So..yes..I screwed up. Yes I REALLY miss xAP..the person..not the affair.

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 10:25pm
Tomorrow is a new day Breeze. Keep moving forward. You'll get there! Daisy