As the BS Turns

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2010
As the BS Turns
4
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 3:51pm
So, I have been off the board for a while. I decided to take my kids on an extended road trip to find me again and distance myself from xAP.

Most of you know my drama. We were in an A for a year, he moved out. I had a d day, he told his W. We were going to be together, but my H would not give me any financial assistance. I basically signed papers giving him all assets and me nothing based on the promise that AP would help me. AP moved out in June and I wasn’t ready until November. This waiting for me caused him much angst and jealousy. In November, a week before my divorce, when he filed she threatened him and he went back to her for a period of 5 weeks. In that time, she got pregnant. He didn’t move back in with her and from Jan-Mar he kept saying he didn’t know what to do. End of March he moved back in with her, I met him for lunch, sent him to hell and went NC. I told him not to contact me and I stuck to it. After three days he came back with full force my friends. “I
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 12:46pm

Hi Odessa,

I’m glad you took some time to check in and let us know how you are doing. It’s great you were able to get away and spend some time with your kids without any interference from x H or xAP.

I’m sorry you are the brunt of xH’s verbal abuse.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 1:09pm
Odessa!! So nice to hear from you! I am so happy you got time with your children, you will never get moments like those again! And what a complete yuck to come back to the tug of these two men in your life. I think E1 said it all, you sound like you are thinking through things very calmly, and being very smart about things that could happen! I so wish you could find a job and just be your wonderful self for awhile! You do not need someone telling you everyday your a piece of crap. That is inexcusable. And I think you are wise to wait till the baby is born to rely on xAP. His emotions are probably all over the place. Take care of YOU Odessa. I will keep praying for that job! Sooooo good to hear from you! Daisy
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2010
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 3:14pm
Thanks for your advice guys! Yes, I was on hiatus. The road trip was 14 days and it did me a wealth of good. It taught me that I can be alone. Once I wrote my post out, I knew my answer. I don’t want to bounce from r to r. i love this guy, I do but omg the heartache he put me through. And this is just one thing I cannot get past, no matter how hard I try. I told him that I couldn’t move on with him. He could stay with his W or he could move out,
Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 10:32pm
'Dessa baby!

You see how smart you are and how far you've come? You're asking all of the right questions - and you're finding your own answers to those questions. And those answers are starting to revolve around you, and what you want, and what is best for you.

I think you're ready to choose happiness for yourself, sweet pea. I so wish that for you. :)

Smooches,

Kim