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|Tue, 12-11-2012 - 6:32pm|
I can't believe how much support and love I have already gotten from you! Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to respond to me and offer such great insight. In some ways I'm better, and some I'm worse. I went to counseling alone yesterday and it helped. One minute I'm feeling strong and proud for not contacting him and the next I'm wondering why he hasn't contacted me. I never officially ended things. I just cancelled on him Sunday and haven't texted. I'm hit with the reality that he isn't texting me because he doesn't want to. I'm not important. I never mattered. He is divorced, miserable, and lonely. I was fun, sweet, and loving to him. Why was I not good enough to matter? Yes, we were Friends With Benefits, but we were close friends. I thought. I know I shouldn't be focusing on that but at the moment, I am. I know in my heart HE'S the one not good enough for me...so WHY was I not good enough for him?