Close the first chapter before opening....
Find a Conversation
|Tue, 03-04-2014 - 6:34am|
I joined this board eight yrs ago for support/advice/etc.
Now here I sit eight years later. Divorced because I had an affair. All of my doing.
I, personally, don't care what ones situation is at home....NO ONE should start an emotional or physical affair until you've closed the first chapter. I SO wish someone on this board would have told me that. Or posted how very difficult it was to be married and open the door to another, while still being married. I know of very few women, that once they've allowed their hearts and or bodies to be shared by another, who is not able to become emotionally attached to that second person. If you thought you weren't happy before, then the REAL emotional trauma begins once you've allowed another in. You're dealing with two men and two emotional bags and not having the slightest clue as to how to handle it or where to go for help....because lets face it, there are few people who you can confide your infideliety to.
I am divorced now and with the man I had the affair with. My current relationship is great. but it came at a cost of taking down one of the best men in my life, my husband. Our relationship had grown stagnant and I needed attention. Rather than to at least try to 'fix' my marriage, I decided to step outside of it. Now I live every single day knowing that I left my husband a broken man and not able to know how to move on with his life, it's hard to be happy knowing I did that to the father of my son.
I am not certainly not judging, but having an affair is extremely selfish...I know that now.
My advice to anyone who hasn't stepped over into that next realm, if your marriage is unrepairable, at least close the first chapter of your life before going on to the next so you can enjoy it.
Good luck. M