Like a Dildo in his sock drawer

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2000
Like a Dildo in his sock drawer
2
Mon, 08-19-2013 - 4:24pm

I worked at a small family run business and about 6 months ago I started sleeping with my boss.  I worked at the business all day and a couple nights a week Dan and I would take a drive and rent a hotel room.  Dan was an amazing lover, very playful, passionate with the desire to experiment and get pretty kinky.  I was familiar with my boss' wife, their extended family and their group of friends.  I was invited to parties and gatherings with my boss, co-workers and our friends.  Shortly after the affair began I started to get fewer and fewer invites to attend group functions, soon I was completely alienated. All of a sudden we could no longer go out for an occasional lunch or even to a store together to get upplies for work.  "We can't be seen together!"  I never did anything inappropriate or said anything to reveal our secret at these gatherings, I know how to keep my mouth shut and how not to act.  As a matter of fact my husband often attended parties with me.

During the day when we were alone at work together Dan would be very affectionte and we snuck an occasional kiss and hug.  I worked hard for Dan's business and he knew that I was dedicated to it.  BUT, I would hear about parties and events that had taken place where everyone was invited and had fun but I was excluded.  Dan wanted me to continue to be dedicated to his business and to continue to be his "mistress" but more and more I felt like I was being treated like the dildo he keeps tucked in the back of his sock drawer.  I approached Dan about this and told him it urt my feelings to be cut out of the loop, he appologised but said that since we were having a torrid affair that we "could not be seen together".

I felt this was an excuse, and that he was being a bit of a hypocrite.  We did things together that were pretty kinky, ok VERY kinky and I think that although he enjoyed doing certain things with me, he lost respect for ME for doing them!  I ended the affair.  I continued to work for Dan and he tried wooing me back into bed, he promised that he would include me in group events and he swore he had respect and positive feelings for me.  I made the mistake of believing him and we slept together a few more times before I found out about "this party" or "that concert" from our mutual friends who had attended.  I ended it with Dan, gave him a two week notice and left.

For women who are considering being someone's "dirty little secret" as yourself = are you willing to be treated like and feel like a DILDO IN HIS SOCK DRAWER?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2009
Sun, 08-25-2013 - 8:55pm

Maybe he felt akward about having you together with his wife or seeing your husband? I know I hated that. Things change when you cross the line into an affair. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:56am

Before you start another job, I hope that you are in therapy to determine why you allowed yourself to be put in this position. Some ppl cannot have an affair and have their BS around their AP. It is just unimaginable for some ppl. I know I could have NEVER done that when I had an A. You put yourself in a position with your boss that you never should have. Of course he didn't have any respect for you because you showed little respect for yourself. I am surprised that you have any self esteem left. Now that you are back on track find a way to work on being emotionally healthy so you won't ever allow yourself to be in this position ever again. I hope you totally cut out contact with this guy and never go back for more. If your M is that bad and you need excitement, try talking to your H about trying kinky things.