iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2012
Sun, 09-01-2013 - 3:54pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
In reply to: sivanandayoga
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 9:06pm

Hi Yoga. I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. Yes, I think he cares about you. How could he not have any feelings for you at all? BUT, he was probably getting a little bored with things with his wife and came fishing around for you to see if you could add some excitement. Please stay away from him. You will get sucked back in. See how he has caused you lose focus on what you want in your life? Work on your relationship with your xhusband and try to forget about the exAP. Go NC again and begin healing again.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: sivanandayoga
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 10:35pm

Hi Yoga :)

I'm happy to hear you have remained out of your affair and that things appear to be getting better with your husband, so much so that you are thinking about getting back together. I think that's great!

Please do not do anything to upset that process.  It would be such a shame to reach this point and throw it all away because of your undivided attention.

Sounds like a fishing expedition to me.  Please, oh please let his hook come up empty.  

You've come so far...and to become all discombulated by a man who would not accept your child (which to be honest with you, I thought was his pathetic excuse to not be with you) would not be in your best interest. 

I guess he cared, but a man who cares about his woman will make an attempt at the very least to care for her child in order to be with her.  He wasn't even willing to try.

He's not worth any of your head space.



Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
In reply to: sivanandayoga
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 11:30pm

Hi Y!!

Lovely to see you - though I'm sorry for the reason.  How are you today, sweetheart?  Holding up okay?

I am sorry that he fished, and that it sent you for a little loop.  Don't let him undo all of the progress you've made though.  Treat this like the little blip that it is, and get back to your life.

His reasons don't matter.  Neither do his actions.  Nothing has changed in his world or in his life it seems, so whatever his reasons are now for reaching out, they don't matter.

He said what he wanted to say, back when.  You still remember.  You walked away from him and all of that.  That is what matters now.  Not some belated show of care or concern on his part a year later.  And really, it IS a show, sweetie.  And his actions don't match up with his words.

You know this - in your head, and in your heart. 

So you keep on keeping on - and put this behind you, and keep moving forward.



Oh - and please check your pms, I'd tried sending you a few over the last while but I'm not sure if they were coming through, so please check and see.  xoxoxo


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2012
In reply to: sivanandayoga
Tue, 09-03-2013 - 6:16pm

Thank you, everyone! The support is much appreciated! It's amazing how one little e-mail can hurt. NC is definitely the only safe thing for me.

All the best to everyone,