Headspace

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Headspace
4
Mon, 12-10-2012 - 6:57am

I made it through the weekend NC but am totally miserable. I'm giving him too much "headspace" and it's killing me. How can I keep from thinking of him so much? I keep busy, try to focus on other things but it always comes back to him.

Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
In reply to: lilyann77
Mon, 12-10-2012 - 8:59am

Hi lilyann, I have a suggestion when you think of him don't think of the good things think of the things that irritated you about JAM. I am pretty sure he wasn't all"perfect". I know it might take awhile to get to this point, for it did me. You might  have a few slip ups or alot  It's like the quote by Alber Einstein "Insanity doing the same thing and expecting different results". I can relate to this it took me many times actually a full year after Dday to actually understand that and get it through my head. I was absolutely addicted and I knew it was not healthy or sane. You too will find this out in time.  It is true I have found out from so many others and from experience NC equals no new hurt.                                                                                               Peace Love Andie

                       

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
In reply to: lilyann77
Mon, 12-10-2012 - 1:48pm

Hi Lilyann -

Congrats for getting through the weekend.  It is all about little steps - so take a moment to be proud of yourself, and to recognize that you did it, okay?

So I will ask you - what are the thoughts you are having?  What specifically, I mean.  And, how are you making everything be about him?  I mean...how come you are giving him that much power over you, honey?

Hugs,

Kim

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
In reply to: lilyann77
Tue, 12-11-2012 - 6:35am
Thank you Kim and Andie! Kim, I wish I knew how NOT to give him the power in my mind. I keep thinking about "being" with him, how good the physical part was. And I wonder what he's doing. And I keep wanting to text him. I hate this.
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: xxxs
Tue, 12-11-2012 - 4:13pm

  To my experience it is unproductive to batter oneself with the infatuation fantasy.  All of us have an on off switch.  We all have the power to use that switch.  Find it and click it to "off."  Yes it may be like in a pitch black room where one feels around the walls for the switch but it is there. 

chaika