Here I go again...same story....1 step forward, 3 steps backwards .

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
Here I go again...same story....1 step forward, 3 steps backwards .
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 9:41am

Ugh.....I am sorry that I keep coming back with the same story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
((hugs)). Buddy. You sound like you are getting so tired. :( I remember this time well. When I was so exhausted from having all these emotions at every moment. Yours is doubled by your friends constantly pressuring you. It's no wonder your feeling crazy!! Please be kind to yourself and realize that you should be feeling all these things. You are going through loss, of xAP and your friends. Loss brings grief. Grief is not very well accepted in our society. You can see that by the statement "is she over it yet". Yuck!! Everyones grief story is different and will follow their own timeframe. You need to let that happen. You seem to be fighting it a little. Don't think of maybe someday later you can be friends with some of them. That is way in the future, and now is the time to worry about you. I totally get how seeing their names hurts you. Maybe for now you can block their numbers and emails so it is not a constant reminder. Do not torture yourself with this. They can be unblocked later when you have healed a little. You are WORTH this time you are giving yourself. You have to take care of you!!! I still have not reconnected with my friends since my d-day, and there are times I miss them, but right now I am working on me, what got me here and how to never get here again. I don't worry about if my friends will be there in the future. If they are...great! If not, I know it was a part of getting myself healthy. You are such a giver. Give to yourself what you need. Your mind and body are telling you what you need. Find that part of yourself that loves and cares for you the way we do and do whatever you need to to help you! And, we will NEVER get tired of you posting this same thing. However many times you need to tell us is how many times we will listen and be here for you. No one gave up on me on this board at my 5th try at N/C!!! Daisy
Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Hi honey,

I agree with Daisy - she is a smart lady and you should listen to her. :)

This isn't about them. It's about you, and doing whatever you need to do to start to heal, and get through all of this.

True friends won't be offended, or think you're crazy. True friends will feel bad for you and hurt for you - but they'll give you the time and space you ask for and allow you to work through it, and they'll be waiting when you're ready to come back.

I really do think blocking could help you, sweet pea. If it hurt you to hear message or see emails - then blocking them will take that piece of pain away, at least for now. And there isn't anything wrong with that. It really isn't mean, or hurtful, or offensive or anything else. It's just what you need right now - and there isn't anything wrong with that.

Big hugs,