How is everyone?

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
How is everyone?
Sat, 12-15-2012 - 8:39pm

How are you doing?

Thinking of you all - hoping everyone is doing okay.





iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2008
Sun, 12-16-2012 - 8:51am

Thanks Kim, doing alright, trying to get ducks in a row for Xmas. :)

Still lots of trouble with these boards. Half the time I can't even sign in. and it seems like lots of folks have run for the hills. :(

Wish you the best Kim! --Jana

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 1:43pm

Hi Jana!

I know how frustrating all of this stuff is - believe me.  Error messages, and not being able to post, and mobile login issues and all of the rest of it.  I really do feel your pain - and I am really feeling the loss of our little community here.  :(

But, I am here - and I will be here - and I am determined to keep posting and encouraging all of you to post as well, even if it is a giant pain in the butt.

I know you guys are worth the little bit of extra effort it takes to be here these days.




Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 2:40pm

And then, you don't answer me and so this is what you get.  Kitty looks super happy and content - but don't be fooled.  She is as sad as I am that it's so quiet here.

AND...NEVERMIND, APPARENTLY.  I can see that I have posted a kitty pic - but when I go to the thread, it does not seem as though it is showing, so now you all just think I am crazy.  Crazier.  Whatever.

Just know that if I have completely lost my ability to post kitty pictures - my mood will turn VERY grim, indeed.  <shakes fist>


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 6:53pm
Most of the time it won't let me reply.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 6:55pm
So, today it seems to be letting me. Honestly, I am close to giving up, its so frustrating. 12 days and I will be a vet :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 7:38pm

 Hey...still here. Been busy with life stuff. Kids, H, work and prison. Alternating between days of feeling I am so far removed from A..then boom, old triggers start triggering. Trying to stay patient with this whole process...and finding that I am not nearly as sad as before. Saw xAP again today..twice. Both times driving by in places I have NEVER seen him before...specifically on my way or.near my work.(.an area of town he has previously refused to go near) But I'm always I keep on driving ..and then wonder if I am just losing my mind. So now I catch myself looking at every motorcycle I drive by..something I haven't done in a long time. And I feel a little more on edge than I have in a few weeks. But all in all...things are going well around here. Hope to hear from others.

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 7:58pm

Just thought I would jump in.

I've had problems with depression, but then I do every Christmas. Usually I give up and travel after the holidays for a month or two. Not this year. At least I don't think I will be doing that. Too many irons in the fire.

iVilliage has nearly got me to say uncle.  I have almost given up. Internet Explorer just would not work for me for serveral days now, and finally got Firefox to operate somewhat. 

I am pretty geeky about all this and have yet to figure out why they are making it so rough. If they are trying to end the boards, they are doing a good job of it.

I can only imagine how many people have been lost. <shakes head>

Merry Christmas to you all.

RatherBe(on the old style boards)

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 9:57pm

Yep well, the new format sucks - say Aye..and it is so dependent on what computer/device you use to log in. A new 'puter at work today came up with a format I have never seen before! So back to old trusty laptop at home, antiquated and cracked, but reliable.

RBM - keep da faith, this time of year can be tough but I know you will come out the other side - keep your eye on the ball! Revo, you're amazing, with all the great things you do, don't get distracted by a few motorocycles. And Rainie, even if access fails, 12 DAYS TIL A VET  - WOOOHOOOT! I am so happy for everyone at this point, to be AFTER the A.

I am pushing 8 months NC in a few days. It was a long A, 12 years, so that dialysis has taken some time. I still miss him, of course there were nice moments - not the A-fog of all memories = Barbara Streisand that RBM warns about, but just real things that were nice. I have turned a major corner in that I can now look at xAP a little mre objectively, at his actions, not to tear them apart but to use my acceptance of them as way to understand myself, and why I was even in this A with this guy to begin with. As we have all seen, that all A's sound alike, I am guessing that the reasons they occur all have some similarties. That is my current homework.

I am however looking forward to the holidays fog-free for the first time in 12 years! I am grateful to think that I can focus on my own  family and freinds here and not be trying to keep Christmas in two households.

Best to all - Daisy 

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Wed, 12-19-2012 - 12:29am

I have no trouble picturing a super happy and content kitty in my mind's eye :)

I'm doing well!  Did a little shopping today.  I braved the Plaza at exactly 2:00 pm...seems to be a good time in this town to get out there and not have to face traffic and lines, and so I took a chance on the Plaza which I generally do not go near around this time of year. It was great.  No traffic to speak of getting there, a parking space close by with my name on it, directed right to the gold-toe socks by a wondering salesman, no line to make purchase, back to car, no traffic to speak of going bada bing!  Yes, it's the little things...though if you are familiar with how it was actually a big thing!

Life is good.  No complaints.  Look forward to opening presents. I like receiving :)

Merry Christmas!

I miss the font colors....yeh, okay that's a complaint.  I would have colored this post up in greens and reds.


Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

Avatar for Sogladitsanewday
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2012
Wed, 12-19-2012 - 8:20am

Hi Kim! I'm doing well thanks, how are you?

I'm completely over my A, I still do think about xAP daily, in an absent minded kind of way mostly, he's turned into a fuzzy memory to me, a person who I just didn't really know very much about at all, the only things I knew for sure were that he loves his wife immensely, that he has a wonderful family, a great life ... a kind of picture perfect life. I still wonder occasionally why he put so much effort into keeping me in his life, as a small additional supplement to his picture perfect life, and we all know why ... I provided him with a bit of excitement and sex. It saddens me to remember that, but I don't think about it very much at all these days, which is brilliant, because it used to be an overwhelming obsession for me ... thinking about it all.

I spend much more of my time thinking about me, working on me, working on being happy - I've realised that being happy for me takes work, my natural default setting is not especially a happy state of mind, I have to appreciate what I have, I have to work towards changing the things I don't like. The old me would just wallow in self-pity about the aspects of my life that disappoint me, the new me attempts to improve things, or accepts what I can't change.

It is sad how the boards have deteriorated, I had to Google Rather's "uncle" comment, and I am afraid I agree with him, I don't come here so often any more, it's not what it used to be and I do struggle not to admit defeat, and I do wonder whether the boards "upgrade" has been a deliberate sabbotage exercise, with the hope of removing the boards altogether. It's all very weird, how could something so good be "upgraded" to something so inadequate?!  I think the change in the boards has affected a lot of us, we had such a strong, supportive, warm and friendly network of like-minded people, and when that was taken away from us we felt kind of lost and alone.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas.

Much love, Soglad x o x