I need help & strength

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2011
I need help & strength
Sat, 04-21-2012 - 10:38am

I'm 4 months out of a very turbulent somewhat abusive (to myself) A.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Sat, 04-21-2012 - 12:54pm
Hi luvin, and welcome. :)

No smacks from me, sweetie - I'm sure that you're beating yourself up enough as it is, right?

So, you had a little fall-down - now you pick yourself back up, and keep moving forward. Okay?

You had to learn this lesson in a hard way, and I'm sorry for that. But, now you know. You were curious and now you've got answers to any questions you may have had, and now you start looking forward again, not behind you. He's your past, now sweetie - not your present and not your future.

And you're smart enough to recognize that. You're smart enough to know what you'd be getting into if you leave that door cracked open. And you're smart enough to know that isn't what you want, and that it won't be good for you.

He *almost* left. Bah. Easy enough words to say, and no need to have to prove it. Chances are good that whatever he believes, that's just a story he's telling himself, and you. I would guess that the reality is probably very different, but that's just a guess, of course.

The only reality that matters though is yours. Not his. Only yours.

So, you have an unhappy marriage, but leaving isn't an option. So - what are your choices, now? Where do you go from here, now that you know that an affair isn't any fix for your bad marriage?

Hugs, honey. I know you're hurting - but there are brighter days ahead.