Just don't know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2013
Just don't know what to do
Sat, 08-03-2013 - 12:29am

Hi I am 33 and married and well in love with my husbands brother, who lives with us.  I know its a screwed up situation.  My brother in law is the love of my life.  We have been having an affair for over 3 years and im so in love with him.  We all live together and I know your gonna say that I need to make him move out but I can't we cant pay the rent without his help.  Plus I can't live without him in my life.  The way he makes me feel is amazing I get goosebumps thinking about him.  I can tell him anything without feeling like he will judge me, unlike my husband who judges me.  I want nothing more than to be with him forever.  I feel like I can be myself around him and its a feeling that I have never felt before.  I could just lay in his arms forever he makes me feel so special. I don't know what to do.  I guess I'm lost I love my husband very much but he isn't the one im in love with.  I wish I could be with both of them LOL. Well thanks for listening to me complain about my life have a great day

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
Mon, 08-05-2013 - 11:35am


You need to stop this. This is a no win situation for anyone. If your husband finds out he will be crushed. He will lose both his wife and his brother. The same with the brother in law. He will lose his brother and the respect of everyone who knows him. If you both love your husband, you will find a way to end this. It is an affair. Affairs have a way of making you not see clearly and feel things that aren't really real. Move to a place that you can afford without a roommate, get a second job, do whatever you can to keep your marriage between 2 people and give it a chance.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 08-05-2013 - 7:07pm

 It is good to be alone for a while.  It is possible this is the love of your life it has happened.  But it could be that neither are good for you in the long run.  Much is the excitement of having a lover.  it is like a drug.  You current H is not for you, but you will need time to decompress.  


Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 10:57pm

Hi Cassie,

If you haven't found it already, you might want to post over as MAS - here is the link:


I remember seeing a couple of people in a sort of similar situation (maybe not recently though), but you will find a lot more support for your affair there than you will on the "after" board.

I wish you well,