The latest on me per request

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2011
The latest on me per request
7
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 12:31pm

Kim and Daisy, you are very convincing and I am a people pleaser, so I will do as you asked and post what is going on with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 12:57pm
Lulu, angel, first of all, take your brother with you on the trip. What a lovely and loving thing for him to do for you.

I hate to see you struggling. As you can see, I am too and it SUCKS this far out.

You gotta quit comparing yourself to xAPs new GF though. You were not available. xAP *couldn't* choose to be with you. So, she jumped into a relationship with someone else. She does that. That has nothing to do with you and how she felt about you.

She is trying to make it work with new GF and you are trying to make it work with H.

You are lovely, beautiful, smart and one of the kindest hearted people I have ever known. xAPs "rejection" is not a rejection of you, petal, but the situation.

I hope one of the two potential new job prospects is a great fit for you so that you can take it and move on from this painful chapter of your life. if not, I hope one is coming in the near future. I know you will heal and be fine (the real fine :) ) in time even if you stay but I think it will be quicker if you can get the h3ll outta Dodge.

love you
Rain
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2011
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 1:18pm

Hi Rainie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 2:26pm
Lulu- I admire you so much for coming to this board and telling us everything that has been going on. I know, believe me, I know, it is so painful to say that you did some stalking. I fight the urge everyday to get on the dating site my XAP is on now and see what he is doing. I actually know him well enough I could figure out his password. Isn't that a pathetic thought?? I am totally in the same situation as you as far as my H. He has filed 2 times for divorce, each time not being able to follow through with it. I will never file for divorce from him. He is the most decent, caring, devoted man, but I just don't have all that passion for him I found with XAP. I have no idea what will happen with him, he may be moving home. Like you, I am doing the trade off thing....what is good for my children, my extended family and so on. When is this trip? I just want to be on standby. I work from home so am on all the time. I am so glad your brother is going!! What a good man he is. Just the fact that he knows everything and still supports and loves you shows his character. DO NOT for 1 minute compare yourself to this woman. It is a waste of your energy and everything you think of may or may not be true...so why waste the time? Easier said than done, I know. I agree with getting the heck out of dodge and never looking back. It could be that last final step that truly sets you free. Change is always scary, but I can't remember one time that something good didnt come out of some change I made. My heart is with you today. I would have reacted just like you did and will probably be on this very board posting this very same thing someday. You give me encouragement, simply by knowing how long you have made it N/C. Now that I can't wait to post, that it has been 7 months!!! Your awesome!!! Daisy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2011
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 8:25am

Thank you Daisy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 9:04am
You go girl!! And WhooooHoooo on g/f not going. What a relief!! Daisy
Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 11:59am
OH MY GOSH!

I know you can't SEE me right now, but I am doing a DANCE OF JOY on your behalf. And yes, I am what kind people refer to as "lacking in coordination" but what I refer to as a "total spaz" - so it looks more like flailing than dancing, but INTENTIONS COUNT HERE.

:)

So, you have one more monkey off your back, baby. How cool is that?!

Wishing you lots of luck on the interview today. Knock 'em dead!

Kim

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 12:39pm
LOL, I told her theuniverse was rewarding her for all her hard work and steadfast NC over the last 7 months :)

But I willa dmit to doinga little chair dance too ;)