Marriage and infidelity

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2012
Marriage and infidelity
5
Sat, 08-03-2013 - 1:49pm

Hello, I hope someone can help me see things for what they are because I am having such a hard time. I found out about my husbands double life (maybe it is deemed correct to call it that.) about two months ago. I do not feel like he has fully talked to me about everything that has happened and I am just so confused and am having a hard time moving on. We have not been married long, just a little over a year and a half and have a baby together. I want to stay for our daughter's sake and want to believe that trust will be rebuilt but I am just having such a hard time.

At the end of last year I had our child and as you all know what a big adjustment having a baby can be and how emotional and painful recovering from childbirth is. He was actually very supportive and helped when I asked him to do something. I had a family emergency and had to go back home which was several hours away. A family member died and it was just such a bad time. Apparently my husband decided that he would post to craigslist for nsa sex several times. Craigslist is so disgusting. First he was married and could have passed a long a disease to me and in turn to our daughter who I have exclusively bf since birth. He of course claims nothing ever came of it. Said he did exchange emails with a woman but they never met. Ugghhh....

I found out about this not from him but from an email account that is soley to link his phone. I am very upset about this and do not believe that nothing ever came of it. I have to trust that nothing did but how in the world is that possible after all the sneaking around. He also went out with some friends in May to a bar and ended up taking a cab back to an old highschool friend's house who happens to be a girl. He said they almost kissed but didn't. He said at some point they talked about why didn't they ever date and told me he calls her the best girl he never dated. I wasn't mad at all about him going out to a bar. I don't care and at the time trusted him. I was fine with him going off and doing something alone every now and then. I found out about the craigslist thing after I found out about everything with the old friend. I just cannot get over all this. Especially when he barely will discuss it. it's like he thinks I should just shove everything under the rug and I refuse to do that.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated. I need to believe him when he says nothing happened but it is so hard to. I refuse to be taken for a fool. I just can't believe any of this has happened. I would have never expected this from him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 08-04-2013 - 11:44pm

Wrong forum!

"This board is a support community for members who have ended an affair. This board is not a place to post opinions about infidelity or to pass judgment on those who are in affairs, nor is it designed for individuals whose spouse has been (or is) unfaithful to ask questions". 

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 08-05-2013 - 2:47pm

Sorry you are going through this. 

The CM's post titled REMINDER, has all of the affair related links. 

You are welcome to read this forum, as it is public, but not the place you would want to post.  If unsure, read the CM's reminder post. 

Serenity CL Making a Second Marriage Work

 

Serenity
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 08-05-2013 - 5:29pm

So we turn away people who want to post because we have to be ridged.   It is time to restructure this whole thing.  It has  become frustration for too many that is why it's dying.  Just separate vent from everything else.   The old support was run like a Soviet political commissar with the party line.  Only political correct allowed.  A pity party. of the coven.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2012
Wed, 08-07-2013 - 1:20pm

Hey! Realized it was the wrong forum after I posted so sorry. Can't see how to delete my post so it's still here. Found the correct forum thanks.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 08-08-2013 - 5:28pm
The terms of service haven't changed. This board has always had the same regulations since it's inception.
Serenity