Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 1:31pm


I am planning on wandering around later on and catching up on posts and pms and all of that good stuff.  I have been reading and following along, but just haven't been able to find some quiet time to post.  But!  I will fix that, pinky swear.


Tell me something good.

Or something bad.

Or something completely random.

Your choice!



(Even though I can't SEE view counts, don't think that means that I won't bust out the kitty pictures.  I WILL.)


Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 2:50pm

Threaten us all you want with the busting out of kitty pictures...I can't get enough of "Too Cute"...and perhaps you will...perhaps you won't...I mean, I'm still waiting for the pignose.

I've got good, bad and random all rolled into two.    

I'm putting up the tree...and that is Christmas Tree...not holiday tree.  MH took it down from the attic a few days ago...I took it out of the box a couple of days ago and we were waiting for it to fall a little...hahahahahahahahha!  I love the tree, and it tends to stay up 'til wayyyyyy past Christmas.  One year, MH finally said...on April 3rd..."Honey, don't ya think it's time?"  It's just that it is soooo pretty and really warms up that corner of the why not...for all of Winter :)  Gotta love MH...he humors his Jewish Princess.

My friend came and visited me yesterday (no...not *that* friend...I'm 60 for pete's sake), but a g/f who I have not seen in maybe 15 years.  We were the absolute bestest of friends...were roommates at different apartments.  Something happened...I don't remember what and I'm not even going to try to remember...but whatever happened, it broke us up.  It always bothered me, and I lost track of where she might have gone.  But one day, about a year ago, I received an email from a mutual friend...and along with all the addresses, I saw one that I thought "I wonder if that is her?"  So, I took a chance and pop an email off saying something like "Is this___ who once was my best friend and something happened and I don't care what because I miss her a lot?"  And within 10 minutes, I received an email was her and we were delighted to have reconnected.  It took another year for us to finally actually meet up.  We had spoken on the phone a couple of times....well actually giggled and laughed on the phone a couple of times...the minute we heard each others voice.  So, yesterday I received a call from her saying she would be driving through my neighborhood to visit another friend and would I like it if she came by for coffee.  "Would I!!!!!"  It was wonderful!  We hugged and hugged and she spent the entire afternoon here...going through some old pictures and talking story.  Okay, here's the something not so we spoke...and as I asked about various people, the death toll began to count 6.  That's the bad part.

It'll be a while before we can get together again, but we promised to stay in touch by phone 'til we are able to get together once again.  Oh...and she has a condo in Venice, FL...and that's where MH and I have been thinking about retiring...that would be awesome!



Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 3:22pm

Good, Bad or Random.

Hmm..Our tree(which does not stay up nearly as long as Clarity'sLaughing) has many bent limbs from 2 year old trying to climb it. There is no detering the little I have been holding off on actually decorating the thing. (How's that for random?)..

Good...I'm really enjoying more and more time with my co-worker, family and friends. Next week I go with my soon-to-be daughter in shop for her wedding dress. I felt like a tag-a-long, but she asked me to please come with her since her mom is out of the country. I'm really looking forward to spending the day with her.

Bad. (okay..I'm doing all 3). H is sick. really. really. sick. I am not sure how much longer he will live, at this point.And today? Ifinally cried. Really cried..for him. For the pain he is in. For our life together..the time we wasted. And just..because of all the stress that comes with terminal illness in your home. ..and now?

 I am grateful. I am grateful for the strong social support system my family and I have that has helped/and continues to help us now. I am grateful that I can spend every evening, snuggled under his favorite quilt watching movies with him. I am grateful I can watch with no other agenda.

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Mon, 12-10-2012 - 12:47pm

Hey Clare-bear!

What a nice story about you and your friend being able to reconnect.  I am so happy that you guys ended up having a happy ending!  :)

We got our tree yesterday.  We're still working on the lights outside - and by "we" I mean DH, who needs to fix the outlet on the deck so that we can turn the lights on - and we'll leave those up for a while.  Not the tree - since we have a live one, it usually comes down within a couple of weeks after Christmas.  But lights don't need water, so they will stay.  :)

The boy and I have had fun driving home every night - checking out all of the lights that people have.  There is this one house, and I swear, every year they do more and more lights - and this year they went BIG TIME and have lights and light-up thingies EVERYWHERE.  It's awesome.  I want to be THAT house.  Maybe someday...I will be able to talk DH into the idea that MORE is BETTER when it comes to lights, and that "tacky" and "gaudy" are just words people use when they are JEALOUS.





Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Mon, 12-10-2012 - 12:55pm

RB -

So do you have a live tree?  I am thinking not, since the two year old keeps trying to climb it - I would think if it were a live tree, the scratchy needles would deter him?

We have our tree, but it isn't fully decorated yet.  The boy and I will probably hang all of the ornaments tonight.  And then we will see how many of them the kitties will end up taking out before the tree comes down.

I am so sorry about your husband, sweetie.  There isn't really anything I can say - and I'm sure the last thing you want to hear is platitudes.

But I am thinking of you and yours, and we are here for you, honey.




iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Mon, 12-10-2012 - 1:28pm

Yeah...Kim is back! Good to see your face, chica:)

Fake tree. Too many asthmatic boys for a live one. So we bought a new one to replace the broken one. Actually, we probably should have replaced it about 3 years ago anyway. Tree is now decorated. The little man has stacked 50% of our ornaments on 2 limbs. I kid you not. But he is proud of his work and leaving it alone. I'll take it.

AS for H. It's okay. really. I don't mean that in an insensitive fashion. His health  has been the backdrop of our marriage for the past 7-8 years. We have all known this time was going to come..and here it is. I know this sounds weird..but being officially terminal..has opened both of our lives to the preciousness of the small things in life. Yes we have both screwed up royally. Yes it really suxxx! hurts to watch someone you love in pain..and yes..I am going to cry and be angry. 

But we are finally acknowledging that we are not looking for perfection in ouselves, eachother or anyone around us. Just honesty and vulnerability. I'm sorry it took us this long to figure it out. H has a few things he really wants to do...finish repainting his boat, some fishing and one-night camping trips. So we are doing these things together.

And our kids! Most are in college..but they are all coming home on a regular basis to offer support, watch the baby, help H with yardwork..and just give eachother support and encouragement. What more can we ask for, really?

And you know? I think..maybe the A..the total emotional abyss..and finding my way out (still doing so) has prepared me for this. Because pre-A? I had so emotionally checked out, that I don't think I would be very supportive of him now If I hadn't fallen flat on my face and remembered how to feel again. If I hadn't learned to ask for help.  I could very well still be the ice-queen..full of resentment and keeping myself emotionally detached from the whole thing.

Instead? We are both engaging in the Christmas season this year. The first time in a long time ..for both of us.

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

Avatar for happyasme
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Mon, 12-10-2012 - 2:43pm

I wanted to prove RB she isnt a thread killer, but Kim beat me to it Wink.

Something good: It snowed

I wish I had more good news to offer, but I can post from work for now for a little while yet.

Something bad: then it rained, and now it's all going to freeze over.

Something random:   Xmas trees have been the topic, though it's not really random anymore...

We will have a real tree, not a live tree, it will have been cut down, so I think that makes it dead, but dead sound depressing, and I refuse to have a dead tree.  We take it down before it looks dead.  So I like the live definition!  

Half he ornaments on two limbs, OMG RB, that brings back such precious memories of a toddler with a grin from ear to ear proud of his job of decorating the tree. 

Our tree will be big, 9 feet tall, just like 2 years ago.  Last year I got a 10 foot tree, but we had to cut 8 inches off the bottom.  I will need to enlist a grumpy relunctant DS and his BF-neighbor, because I cannot put in a 9 feet live tree all by myself.