Need a little

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2012
Need a little
20
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 12:35am

Hi Everybody!

I ended a 4 year long

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 5:09pm

Girl,

You need to stop toturing yourself and let this go.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2011
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 5:50pm
I agree with goddess. You NEED to LET IT GO! It's been a long time and you should be way more healed. Have you been to see a T? Maybe some counseling would help you deal with the issues that are holding you to this man. The issues you have have nothing to do with xAP and all to do with you wanting to escape from the real world. How is your M? You didn't mention if you were married or not. I too get every emotional that time of month.. You need to also seek help for that. Consult a doctor, you may need to regulate a hormonal imbalance. I've felt all of the emotions you have. I'm healing from my 2nd A so its all too familiar to me. ((((( hugs)))))) LGO
Regret for wasted time is more wasted time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2012
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 6:25pm
@LGO....I am M but seperated pending divorce. My M was over for a while but my A kept me from dealing with that as it needed to be. I have been in T..and worked thru a lot of issues there. Like I said I only experience this once a month..the other 3 weeks I'm fine..never think about him. I think there is definitely something hormonal going on.

@GODdess...I think you may have misunderstood some things but I thank you for taking the time to post.
Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 6:41pm
Hey supergirl - this is what I would like to call you, is that okay? :)

Longer response to come - but first a delicate question. And I'm sorry to ask and be all rude, and you don't have to get specific and tell the exact number if you don't want to, but around how old are you?

The reason I ask is because I am 45, and have noticed over the last four or five years that the whole time of the month thing has gotten REALLY whacko, with the PMS and the hormones and the whole deal, and I wonder if part of the issue could be something as simple as "woman of a certain age...body starts to go totally PSYCHO".

And I'm completely sorry if you are actually only 32 and I've mortally offended you - not at all my intention!

Kim

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2012
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 6:46pm
@Kim..supergirl will do just fine!!! Your question does not offend me at ALL! I'm 43....will be 44 in a couple of weeks.
Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 7:00pm
Okay. :)

(Boys may want to look away for a minute.)

So, from everything I have read and heard, everyone keeps saying that 40-45 is "too young" for peri-menopause, that it can't possibly be that, etc., blah blah blah. But - that applies to averages, right? The average woman starts peri-menopause somewhere around this time frame, and true menopause somewhere around this time frame, and they've figured out what that time frame is because that's what it averages out to for *most*. But - *most* doesn't mean *all* - and I've also heard of people who did start with the peri stuff in their early forties, so I don't think it's such a reach to imagine it could be some of that happening.

Also, not to get too TMI on you when we've just met, but I had my tubes tied after I had my 2nd child, when I was 37, and I have talked to others who have had the same thing done, and...there are enough similarities in our stories of weird cycles and hormonal outbursts and the whole thing being "different" that I have to believe it could play some part, somehow. Or, you know, one has nothing to do with the other - and I'm just one of those women who will start peri-menopause in their earlyish forties and it will last for TEN YEARS and I could HURT SOMEONE.

*Ahem*

ANYHOO...all of that to say that when I talked to my ob-gyn about what was going on - she told me that what they have found helpful to some is to go on an anti-depressant for a few days leading into your period. I forget right now which she suggested specifically, but she said I could take it at day whatever, about a week before I was due to start, and that it could really help with the emotional side of things. (That's the nice way to say "the raving bitch I became".) LOL

She also suggested that I could try taking hormones, and I did, but only for like, two days because they freaked me out, and I psyched myself out of continuing with them. :(

And then, the standard, diet and exercise, and vitamins, of course.

So hey, since we're getting all personal and stuff - when is the last time you saw your lady-parts doctor, and did you talk about what was happening? They did some blood work on me, to see where things were, and we found out that I was starting to skip ovulating, and that some of my hormone levels were a little off...have they checked you out for stuff like that?

(Probably safe for boys to look again now.)

:)

Kim

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2011
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 7:43pm
Kim, it's funny you should post this.. I'm only 31 and had my son 8 yrs ago and I too had my tubes tied. I have had so many issues since. My hormones are crazy. The diet, exersize, and vitamins do work wonders. I have to learn to take care of ourselves. I'm always taking care of others and other forget about taking care of me. I go a bit crazy some months. I will cry and think no one loves me. I get depressed etc.. That also went on during my A. My hormones have been getting pretty regulated the last few months and hope they continue to but, I know with age it may prob only get worse. LGO
Regret for wasted time is more wasted time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 7:49pm
Kim, I had to laugh. I am 44 and have a 2 year old so I figured I was way too young for perimenopause. but lo and behold, the last 5 months have been *weird*.

Oh, the joys..... ;)
Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 8:01pm
Oh yeah! :)

Seriously, though - doctors know a lot of stuff, but they sometimes maybe don't know everything. Like, I can remember asking my doctor (the old one, HA!) about whether there was any link between my heavy periods and the fact that I got dizzy, and tired, and craved red meat - whether I could be anemic or iron deficient, and if the two things could be linked? And he kind of pshawed me (I know - not a real word, but you know the sound I mean) and told me nope, no way, no connection. And lo and behold - yes, there actually CAN be a connection. Dumbass. :)

I think it's the same for a lot of the girl stuff. They go by what is "normal" - or at least, what a majority of their patients report to them, so they start thinking that the same rules apply to everyone. But, they don't.

And of course...stress doesn't help with anything. I mean, that alone is enough to wreak havoc with your cycle, never mind aging or hormone fluctuations or anything else to add to the mix.

So, you know, if things are getting wonky, talk to your doctor, and keep talking until you are sure that they are hearing you, and can talk about options.

:)

I know, whine whine whine, it's haaaaaaaaaaard being a girl.

Kim

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2012
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 10:39pm

@Kim -- I think you are dead on.

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