Next chapter

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Next chapter
11
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 3:20pm

Hi

Found out today that xAP who I still work daily with has got a new job and will be leaving and moving. I feel the glimmer of relief but it is overshadowed by alot of upset. I have the next few weeks to get thru at work and seeing him tell everyone. I know it's the best outcome but at the moment it just hurts. 

Thanks for being here

Yellow

X

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

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Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 5:27pm

(((Yellow)))

Three more weeks...that's all you have to get though.  You wouldn't by chance have three-weeks vacation saved up that you can take, do you?  Or even a few days...to make for a long weekend...short workweek?

Have you been holding on in the hopes that things would change?  Or, is it just a matter of his leaving makes the ending final?

Strange how we can know that it is the best, yet that knowledge doesn't make it hurt any less.  I'm sorry.

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2012
In reply to: Bored17
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 6:03pm

Don't think i'm a ditz, but what does "AP" stand for? Associate Partner?

Either way, it's just a change in your life or environment you're going through. When we get used to things good or bad some times it's hard to let go because of mixed feelings.Things you're used to and things you're uncomfortable with, such as the relief you're feeling due to things you were uncomfortable with.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 8:32pm
AP = affair partner

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2012
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 11:30pm

Hi Yellow,

I don't have LC so I can't pretend to know what you are going through.  I can imagine it will be a little sad in the beginning, probably will set you back some, but you're strong Yellow and I know you will get through this.   

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Thu, 12-06-2012 - 7:29am

It's called the "final" chapter.

It's the real ending.

You can hang on, if you want to.  You can make up a new fantasy to hold on to what you thought you had.

Be wise. It doesn't last long, the feeling bad, and you will gain the freedom of it being over.

Rejoice in it. Embrace it. This is actually the best thing that can happen to  you, other than him never contacting you, or you ever seeing him again.

It is a blessing.

This too will pass.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Thu, 12-06-2012 - 8:20am

(((Yellow)))

It is the end of the ending and it hurts it really does and in some ways it hurts the most, The reality of what it was or in the case of A's, what it wasn't, really sets in.... but in three short weeks you will be free - really free. Im exactly where you are, in the end stages of the ending, and I know how you feel, and how it hurts..... I will be thinking of you sweetie over the next three weeks. You will get through them, I know you will.

Much Love

Sunny Soon Xxx   

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Thu, 12-06-2012 - 10:48am

Hi Yellow,

I understand!  I too am experiencing the “end of the ending”.  And it’s weird.

And I feel SO many emotions, have SO many thoughts – all over the map!  Sadness, anger, fear, relief, anxiety, anticipation…

It’s all there.  But, the end is the ONLY place where healing can begin.

I just read a post on EAS about This Christmas, Last Christmas.  And I pray, and can’t wait, for next Christmas when I will be in a different place as a result of being out of the A for a long time.  We’ll get there.  It’s hard right now, but we’ll get there. 

And another thought crossed my mind this morning on my way to work.  NC (truly NC, which you can now have!) allows enough time to pass without us knowing what XAP is doing so that we can get distanced from that person and in doing so, we can move on, focus on us, on others, instead of focusing on something/someone SO unhealthy for us.

I think Clarity’s suggestion about taking some time off is EXCELLENT.  What a wonderful thing to do for YOU.

Thinking of you,

~Sunrise

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Thu, 12-06-2012 - 9:41pm

 Hi Yellow, I know it hurts but just think you will be able to have a fresh start. You wont have to have the fear of running into him or seeing him so you can move on. I am glad you are feeling a glimmer of relief, the sadness and upset will pass. Just let it out and then you will feel better, I always feel better after a long hard cry alone. I tend to see things much clearer afterward.  Be strong hun it is for the best. Now you can finally start over.      Peace Love Andie

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Mon, 12-10-2012 - 2:32pm

Ah Yellow, my love -

So you are coming to the place that others have found themselves in - as RBM said, the FINAL ending.

You have done so well with your LC situation, honey.  You have come SO far from when you first found the boards, and made your very first post.  You have done so much healing and growing - and now, at last, you will have the chance to take those very last steps, and get to this very last ending.

I know that it's scary.  And I know that it will still hurt.  But - this is it, sweetie.  The last big hurt left to get through, and then you will truly be free of this.

I know you can do this.  You have BEEN doing it all along, Yellow love. 

You are so close to being truly free - and I am so very excited for you.

Hugs,

Kim

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Mon, 12-10-2012 - 6:19pm
Hello everyone Thankyou for all your support and love. RBM and Clarity were right in that part of me was still hanging on. Tbh LC facilitates this. But I've learnt too much and reality stares me in the face now due to all Ive read and learnt here. It is the final stage and I'm welcoming it. I've planned to work from home for the majority of this week and am going to try and do some more of that next week. He has typically upped his presence around the office since telling everyone. I'm fully committed to protecting me. Feel very weary and somewhat panicked by never seeing him again - i have worked with him for 5 years - but it's time now - to follow in all your footsteps. Claire Bear - wish I could tell Iddy this - she always hoped one of us would leave the job. Thank you again Yellow x

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

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