Find a Conversation
|Sun, 03-11-2012 - 3:31pm|
Having a terribly difficult time today. Despite keeping busy with the family and weekend chores the weekends seem so hard. Not only do I miss xAP but I miss knowing someone cares about what I'm doing and wants to check in on me from time to time. I notice myself comparing how my H is with our child with what kind of father xAP is to his and still wonder if we would have been the perfect little family. It's truly heart wrenching esp when the pain is all in secrect. Trying to put on a happy face is grueling. I fear I will never again have that passion and deep connection and the older I get the more defeated I feel in that regret. Although H and I are in MC I don't know that things will ever be what I desire ans that terrifies me.