Still can't stand sex. Not attracted to H. Like, CANNOT stand it at ALL
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|Thu, 03-29-2012 - 1:57pm|
This is still a big problem and is getting worse. I cannot stand even simplest touches and even the thought of a touch has me cringe. I feel awful saying it.
I know it is not my libido. I think about xAP, and the old bf who fished, and how attracted i feel to them and physically 'want' them. Not that I am going to do anything! But it just proves to me that I do have desires and that they just don't exist for the person I am with and want to be faitful to.
It is going to be hard to be faithful FOREVER. If you ask me, sex and intimacy is a basic human need and I am severely lacking and becoming so depressed that I don't have that in my life. Instead I have a life of "oh please don't let it happen today" and dreading the next time I fulfill the obligation and get it over with. Horrible.
My counselor ties it into fear of intimacy and commitment to my available partner. I say I just don't want to have sex with my husband.
So after session upon session with her, and seeing it getting worse at home, I am now at a total loss, but I don't want to cheat on him! It seems so selfish to be this unhappy lacking just the physical.