those intimacy issues
Find a Conversation
|Wed, 03-21-2012 - 9:38am|
Hi all! I feel kind of like a broken record, but, does anyone have advice on, or experience with overcoming major intimacy blocks at home? I’ve discussed this topic before but now I want to specifically talk about within otherwise good, healthy relationships. My H has done extremely well getting over my A and has hardly made an issue of it (maybe that’s an issue of itself but I choose to view it as Boy am I fortunate and boy is he amazing). He loves me and treats me well. Of course there are things about him that drive me crazy, he has ways he angers me and we argue, but I think like anyone would.
Stress is also high right now; we have a baby coming in 2 months and he’s been out of work since November. I realize that can play a big part. But I Just Can’t let him get close to me (physically). I used to at least somewhat enjoy things. Now, not only don’t I enjoy but I can barely tolerate, and I literally cringe at his advances. I do not have any other reason to want to leave him, we have a good thing going, it could be so great if I let it. I am tormented every day by my discomfort with him and the fact that I am depriving him. Why should he stick around?
We are GOOD together for the most part but this obstacle is so huge lately. I use every excuse, especially the pregnancy (which is BS because I still very much have a sex drive and even more so bc of my condition).
So frustrated, feeling stuck and like it only gets worse. How long can I avoid him? He deserves more from me. I could be harboring resentment with the unemployment thing, not his fault but maybe that has just made it worse???Will talk to my T later.
A big part of my A was sharing intimacy. Not sex, but intimacy...wanting someone physically close to me for the first time in a long time and being so open to touches and togetherness. I missed that...a lot, and still do.