a trying and eye-opening weekend
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|Mon, 04-02-2012 - 7:08am|
..and I'm still standing:)
This has been a rough week/weekend. xAP was staying directly across field/highway from me at a biker ralley. He called every day. (no..not blocked...) But I didn't bite!
I volunteer at a local prison on Sundays. Yesterday, on my way in, xAP's best friend pulled me aside to warn me that xAP is out-of-control. (I wanted to say ...Really? Ya' Think?) He just said...RB..."he is turning into a black hole of destruction..don't let him suck you in". And I know he is right. XAP is a recovering alcoholic that is now on a drinking binge. He has apparently shown up drunk with 3 different women over 3 different weeks at his friends house...ouch..that hurt to hear...Friend finally had to kick him out. I later learned that xAP has gotten into arguments or fights with 3 of his friends..and was fired from one of his jobs last week.
When I came out of prison (no cell phones allowed) I had several messages from xAP...and yes..I listened..and wow. He was going from one bar to another..and had just fought with someone else!
I am keeping my distance. It hurts to seem him spiral out-of-control...I want better for him. But in a weird way? It makes it easier to stay clear of him this way. And it definately takes the issue of "is it me? What went wrong?" you know..that litltle whisper that is in your head..away. Because this is SO not about me!
Did tell H about xAP's spiral out of control last night. H knew I was down and something was bothering me. I decided to come clean ..well..to a degree. We talked quite a bit about how xAP and I had become so close..and the difficulties letting