The Welcome Mat

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
The Welcome Mat
17
Mon, 03-26-2012 - 6:59pm

Hi!

    

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2011
Mon, 03-26-2012 - 10:48pm
That was wonderful, Kim. Thank you.

Gypsy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
Mon, 03-26-2012 - 10:52pm
Call it whatever you want...I call it home. Thank god for all of you! Daisy
Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 2:36pm
P.S.

Sometimes, when no one is looking, I hang out in our chat room, and then forget to let anyone else know I am there...

(*cough* like now *cough*)

;)

Kim

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 9:26pm
Hi Kim,

I'm Jen and I've been around ivillage for years. I took a break from the boards when my Mom got sick three months ago. She recently passed and I feel so lost. I mainly visit the affair boards as that's how I found ivillage, I was in an affair and needed support. I'm not in an affair any longer but with the passing of my Mom I'm finding my pattern of needing validation/attention from a male rearing it's unflattering head. I quit smoking coming up 17 months (if you need a quit buddy, I'd be more than happy to pay forward the support I received) and I recognize my coping skills are being tested. I need to find my voice and stop lurking on the boards and in my life. I need to be consistent and not be half present in all aspects of my life. With my Mom dying my world has become very small and I need to open it up. I'm not sure where I belong and I sure would like to find a safe place to just be;)
Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 10:06pm
Hi Jen!

I've seen your name around. :) Welcome to...here!

My condolences on the loss of your mom. That must be so tough to deal with - I can only imagine the grief you are feeling and trying to cope with. It sounds like it's been a rough few months for you - and I am sorry for that.

We're a safe place, though. If you hang around, you'll see that sometimes, my mad "everyone must love everyone else" skillz sometimes fail me and sometimes we disagree with each other - but we're still a very supportive bunch. :)

And my um, badly named philosophy holds true for everyone who posts here, and all of us do our best to extend our hands to anyone who needs one to hold onto for a while.

And we LOVE it when people find their voice. :)

I hope you like it here, Jen - jump on in.

Hugs,

Kim


    

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Wed, 03-28-2012 - 1:07am
Thank you for the welcome Kim;) It has been tough these past few months. The whole family will need to take care and heal, my Mom had cancer and the time from diagnosis to her passing away was so quick. I I'm playing with fantasy to hold some of the grief away. I feel better having a place to put my thoughts out there and receive thoughts back. It helps to gain perspective:). Take care Kim.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
Fri, 03-30-2012 - 9:55am
Jen...welcome! Or welcome back. My affair started 6 months after I lost my mom to a 2 year battle with cancer. My xAP had many one time or a few time affairs after he lost his mom and dad within a month of each other. He did that for 5 years before meeting me and starting our affair. My T says many affairs are started after the death of a family member. Fast forward 2 more years and you have 2 marriages destroyed, d-day for us both, very public ones at that, children hurt, I could go on and on. I chose not to deal with my grief...and oh what a mistake that was. I think it is amazing that thru your pain right now you can see what a vunerable place you are in and have the intellengence to come here and gain perspective. If only I had known. So welcome, and I hope you post often and we can be here for you as you grieve the loss of your mother. Daisy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2011
Fri, 03-30-2012 - 1:39pm
Just popped in from another board....nice to meet you...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Sat, 03-31-2012 - 8:45pm
Thank you Daisy for the welcome;) I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your Mother. Cancer is horrible and seeing a loved one fight through it is heartbreaking. My Mom was amazing through her cancer diagnosis to a round of chemo. She will have my utmost respect and admiration for her grace through such a difficult time. I'm working hard at stopping fantasy thoughts from taking over and I feel I have an understanding of what your T has described about grief and affairs. Thank you for sharing Daisy and the warm welcome, it really helps to put thoughts out and get feedback that is so helpful;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Sat, 03-31-2012 - 9:51pm

Kim, my love, did you write this at the bar?

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