What did I do- cant stop crying

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2012
What did I do- cant stop crying
Sat, 04-21-2012 - 10:41pm

Will try to make the long story short. Names changed*

Was in a relationship for 5 years (I'm now 26 he is 30) with

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Sun, 04-22-2012 - 8:31am
Hi Anon, I am sorry for the pain you are feeling. I have not had the experience you have had, except to know how someone else allows our judgement to be clouded.

Are you sure you have burned the bridges with Geoff? That there isn't a chance he wants you back? Having said that though, are you sure your not once again romanticizing a past relationship? You said yourself you had unresolved issues, those issues pushed you towards Sean. Now Sean is out of the picture and Geoff is the looking like the dream.

Anon, it is time to own up to your responsibility in these relationships, NO not the beat yourself up, I am a failure thoughts! But to look at all of it openly and honestly. Sean was the past, things with Geoff some how derailed, so you opened up and became vunerable with Sean. Which you learned was oops and better left in the past, but it was a choice you made. Now Geoff is the past. So here you are and your life is 100% yours, so you can spend this time wallowing or you can take these lessons learned, forgive yourself, love yourself and when you really truly feel those things for and about yourself the world will open up and someone new will enter in. Time is the biggest healer. Letting go, is a gift you give yourself. Forgive yourself and look to other things that make you happy.
Stop looking behind, look ahead. Seeing Geoff was a stumbling block, but you already 5 months out of the relationship.

If seeing Geoff brings pain are there ways to avoid contact?

Good luck and hugs!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2011
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 12:30pm

Hi Anon. I'm sorry that you are going through a rough time, but I hope that it can be a growth experience for you.

I agree with Sunny that you need to take a deep look within.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 10:19pm
Hi anon, and welcome to the board.

I agree with Sunny - and would also ask if you aren't maybe romanticizing the relationship with Geoff a bit now that you're out of it?

You said that there were unresolved issues - if you and he got back together tomorrow, would those issues disappear? Or would they not be noticeable in the first, happy, back together period, only to resurface when all of those happy, relieved feelings died back down?

Hugs, anon - I know you're hurting, and we do understand.