Confused and upset!
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Confused and upset!
|Mon, 04-15-2013 - 2:24am|
So here I am writing this in the middle of the night, not knowing what to say or do or how to begin. I'm the one that everyone else goes to for help. Everyone relies on me and thinks I know everything. Everyone thinks I have all the answers. Clearly, that couldn't be farther from the truth.
About 6 years ago I met a man. I mean literally just met him, through my child's athletic program. I don't recall thinking anything about him until about 2 years later when our paths crossed again in a similar program. He worked well with my child and was funny and charming with me. I thought nothing of it, but found I began to look forward to bringing my kids to the program.
This man and I have NOTHING in common, but I really like him very much. After my kids aged out of the program, he visited our family a few times a year and even took a day trip with us. Then about a year ago I had lunch with him without the kids. Then another lunch, and a concert, and a dinner...and so on. There was never anything inappropriate, but it was so much fun being out with someone who wasn't my good, kind, reliable husband. My face literally hurt from smiling and laughing for hours.
In January we went out for an upscale lunch and had a great time. He is such a gentleman! He opens car doors, helps me on with my coat, spoons food onto my plate and hold my arm when we cross a street. In February we went out again. Then, last week we had dinner. I think this is when things all came to a head- for me at least.
He compliments me constantly, tells me I look good, says over and over how much fun we have together. But at last week's dinner he spoke about other things too. He told me personal things about his life and asked about mine. We talked for hours. This man is single. He sees several women and is quite a player, but he never stops saying how much fun we have together and how great I am.
Another thing: this guy uses the word LOVE all the time. Now, I work with people who throw this word around easily ("Oh my gosh I LOVE YOU! How did you know I wanted coffee!) but his is about me..."Better stop teasing me or I won't love you anymore"..."I love you anyway" and so on...and frankly, I like it.
Tonight we were on the phone talking. My husband was in the room and has no problem with the fact that I help this guy with a project he has to do at work. All of a sudden I realized I heard a woman in the background and asked him if someone was there. He lied and said no, but later admitted it. I became angry, and I guess my cheery phone voice changed, and he caught on right away. Now I'm truly miserable. We were supposed to have lunch this Saturday and now I fear things will be different/ over/ uncomfortable between us, which saddens me terribly as I want to continue seeing him
Sorry this is so long. I guess the issues here are (1) Is this an emotional affair? I feel like it is.(2) Is my marriage in danger? My husband knows I go out to eat with this guy. He just doesn't know how much fun we have. 3) How you think this guy feels about me and why does he keep in touch when I'm nether young nor beautiful at this point in my life? (4) What does the "I love you" stuff mean? (5)How do I fix what I did on the phone tonight? Disturbingly enough I still want him in my life.. .