emotional affair?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2014
emotional affair?
Tue, 02-04-2014 - 12:32am

I found out yesterday that my husband is/was having an emotional affair.  He'd been acting strange lately such as asking when I would be home or the dates of my upcoming business trip. He also was coming to bed unusually late.  He started to be worried about me using his phone which is not normal behavor for him.  I finally did something I know was wrong but I checked his email on his IPad when he was out. I found several emails to a girl he "met" on my free cams.  There were several message mostly sexual some not. He wrote her poetry and said she inspired him.  Also talked about his dissatisfaction w me saying I do not want sex enough.  They live  in separate cities but talked about meeting in person.  she's married w kids and wanted to meet my husband in person at a bar with her husband.  Said they'd act like they didn'to know each other but would strike up a conversation as if they're strangers.  He said neither of them had intentions of bring physical but wanted to see each other in person. He swears had never wanted to have sex with her and this was just a fantasy. I know out marriage is in trouble. Other than therapy I don't know what to do from here. Any suggestions from people who've faced similar situations is much appreciated.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Wed, 02-05-2014 - 5:33pm

I have not been in a similar situation, but have been on the affair boards long enough to at least be able to suggest that he stop all communications with this woman...and hopefully he is amenable to therapy and find it a safe haven to lay it all out on the table.  Marriage's have their ups and downs...stepping outside of the marriage shows poor coping skills; and hopefully, therapy will help guide you and get you both back on track.

Here is the link to the Betrayed Spouses Support Board.  You might find better support there.



Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board