I can't stop thinking about him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2012
I can't stop thinking about him...
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 8:19pm
I recently - 1 month ago started talking to someone new at work and we started texting. We were instantly attracted to each other, but are both in relationships. Now, I knew from the offset he was only interested in one thing and one thing only as we only ever had flirty banter which turned into more, there was never any talk of us actually getting to know each other as people. Now, we've had a bit of a fondle but not slept together. Me and my fiancé have serious problems in the bedroom which is on a whole different level. So, I thought that flirty banter and a bit of a fondle was all I wanted from this new guy, now I can't stop thinking about him. At the moment it isn't going anywhere at all because I broke it off knowing that I was beginning to feel like this. But I still can't stop thinking about him. I know he liked me, but he was always very good at switching his feelings off. But I can't!! Like I say, we never actually got to know each other on a personal level, and I'm either trying to work things out with my partner or break it off with him, but I just need to get this other guy out of my head. Any advice welcome!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 7:51pm

I think your attraction and the bit of fondling activated the chemicals that get activated with a new love interest...it's a 'crush'...and remember those teenage years when you had a crush on a boy, simply because he was cute or showed you some attention...and couldn't stop thinking about him?  You didn't even really know him to like him...just like you don't even really know this guy...except that he has a girlfriend and he crossed the line with you...not a nice boyfriend.  

I'm thinking about how I would feel in your situation.  A guy does a little flirting, a little fondling, but isn't interested enough in me to forge a relationship.  That would kinda have me no longer thinking about him because my ego would be bruised.  I'd be embarrassed that I let him fondle me and would want to avoid him like the plague.

Clarity