I never thought I'd be here. Having an affair, but I am.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2014
I never thought I'd be here. Having an affair, but I am.
9
Mon, 08-11-2014 - 10:24am

Please don't judge me. I know what I'm doing is wrong. Everyday I wake up in hopes that this will be "the day" I have the courage to end things but everyday I fail. 

I am posting this looking for someone who is in a similar situation. Being in an affair is an isolated place.  Perhaps we can help each other to move forward and do what is right.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2014
Thank you
Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012

You should realize that you have posted on a Board where betrayed spouses post as well as wayward spouses and affair partners. Your affair may be called out and debated and your behavior judged. Just so you know.

If you need support for your affair, I'd suggest you head over to the My Affair Support Board.

http://www.ivillage.com/forums/love-sex/relationship-problems/mas

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2014
You are not alone. I've been with my AP for 5 years and every day of my life I struggle with the fact that I'm still in an affair and haven't let it go. Leading a double life is not for everyone and I never thought in a million years that I'd still be involved with him. This is the path I have chosen and I guess I'm going to ride this until the wheels fall off.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2014

No need to thank me.We  all need to vent without judgement.It's fine to send  a  message whenever you need to talk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2014
Thank you, BK, What you have done, I have yet to do. I'm so sorry for your heartache and struggle. I added you to my friend list. I would love to private message you, if that is ok?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2011

I'm 12 days out of a 4 year affair and I can tell you that it is one of the hardest things that I've ever had to endure, letting someone you love walk away, but, it's necessary and I'm only sorry that we waited so long to do so. 

It's literally taken a huge toll on me, emotionally, physically.  And now that I'm coming around and NOT crying everyday, I've realized that I'm back to square one. All of the problems I've run from for 4 years are still here!  Only now I have new ones, heart wrenching ones to endure as well... 

I guess my point is, affairs really do have an expiration date, and someone if not both of you will be devastated. It's not a cure all for a bad  marriage, it's a band aid, and the longer you leave it on, the more it's going to hurt being pulled off!! 

Good luck to you, I totally get what you are going through, take care of you and follow your head, not your heart! 

Sometimes love just isn't enough.... NC since 7-30-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2014

I cant offer any expert advice because I am struggling as well.If you need someone to talk to,I don't mind listening.Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2014

I don't have anyone to talk to. No one in my life would suspect I would put my world in jeopardy, but here I am. And you are correct, trying to get out is easier said than done. I am struggling. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2014

I am not in a position to judge anyone. It is a very difficult position to be in.You know that it is wrong but it feels so right.I experience that every day.I don't like hurting my husband but I cant stop being in love with the other man.My physical affair is over because he moved abroad but I still email him.I  love my husband and the OM. I never felt so torn in my life. I hope that you have someone that you can talk to because it is a lonely road to be on by yourself.Iknow because I dont have any support.People on the EAS board will say just go NC.It is not always that easy to do.