Involved with two men
Find a Conversation
|Sun, 03-03-2013 - 2:27pm|
I'd been with guy #1 for several years, but our relationship wasn't moving forward. He was still living at home, taking his time finishing college (8 years to be exact), always starting fights, and lying to me over both big and little things. He had a lot of growing up to do and I was getting frustrated, as I want to be settled, sharing responsibilities, getting married, having more kids (I'm a single mom). I suggested we take a break to reevaluate and during that time I met someone else.
He's a single dad, independent, wants the same things I want. Perfect match, right? But emotionally I guess I just wasn't ready. I missed the good times I'd had with guy #1 and he was working hard to prove to me that he could get his life together for us. We continued talking, then hanging out, all the while he's been this amazing man I wish I had years ago! I put off anything romantic for awhile but before I knew it I was involved with both.
I'd hoped that as time went on, it would become clear who I should be with, but I've only been digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself. Guy #1 is doing everything right and treating me like a princess, we laugh and joke and get along like I can't do with anyone else. But I worry that as he gets more and more comfortable, the same issues are going to start popping up (the anger, the drama, etc.).
Guy #2 is wanting to move things forward and I do have a great time with him, but it's just different. I find there's a whole new set of challenges dating someone else with kids, as his son and my son do not get along. His son bullies my son and gets away with murder...he might get a time out every now and then but there are no real consequences to his actions. It's almost embarassing to bring him places as he's such a loose cannon and does whatever he pleases. Guy #2's ex has also confronted me on numerous occasions in front of the kids, causing a scene and threatening me to stay away from them. As much as I enjoy being with Guy #2, there are a lot of outside factors influencing our chances of having a future together too.
I feel like there are so many good things about both of them though, that it would be hard to be without either. I didn't intend for this to go on as long as it has, I felt like I would test the waters to see what the best situation was for my son and I and go in that direction. But that epiphany hasn't happened yet, all I know is I can't continue on with both of them forever and I need to make a decision. I know I've been selfish and I do want to commit myself to one person and give it my all...never in a million years did I think I would ever be in a situation like this. I'm not getting any younger and I want to have that lifelong relationship, but I don't know which way to turn.