Need to vent

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Need to vent
Sun, 07-29-2012 - 4:29pm
Not sure where to start but I'll try to make a long story short. I've never told anyone this and finally over three years later need to say it. I was having problems with my husband and became friends with a coworker who was in the process of separating from his wife. One thing led to another and we started an affair. I separated a few months later, but not solely for this guy. Fast forward a few months i found out he had a gf at work who i knew, and that his wife found out about her and kicked him out. I end things, but he continued to contact me promising it was me he loved and would end it with her. My separation turned into me moving into an apartment and filing for divorce. This other guy would disappear for days/weeks with his gf, but always contacted me again making promises and proclaiming his love. I was stupid and let it continue. I decided enough was enough and contacted her. I let her know, anonymously, what was going on. Backfired and she didn't care, and figured out it was me. Rather than confronting me she posted lies online and made herself out to be a victim. Worst part was coworkers saw these. My h works with me so i got scared and decided to reconcile rather then him find out i had an affair. Months have gone by with horrible stares from coworkers, crazy phone call from her giving out my number online, and even the other guy still contacting me. I'm at my wits end and have been having to work with her more frequently. Her friends as well who are down right nasty. I've asked that he leave me alone, blocked him as much as i can to no avail. I would love to tell her in person about his constant contact, but she's psychotic and i know she'll hurt me rather than realizing he's the problem. He's even hit on others at work. Sorry this was long, but i feel better getting it out there. I truly loved him and thought it was meant to be, but I'm doing the best to make my marriage work knowing i was wrong and reminding myself he's a sick person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
In reply to:
Tue, 07-31-2012 - 7:53am
You have a lot to deal with. Maybe you have tried all of this. Can you change your email? Can you change your phone number? Can you change jobs or move to a different department?

Visit the after your affair or ending your affair boards. People there can help with ideas as well as dealing with overwhelming emotions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2012
In reply to:
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 4:09pm
Yikes... having an affair at work where you and your husband work and then everything has imploded? I'd definitely say it's time for a new job and get as far away from this other lady and your former AP as soon as you can. Don't let the looks or sneers from your coworkers get to you, but I know that's easier said than done. Just remember they have just as many issues and problems as anyone else and it's easier for them to judge when they only know half of the details.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2011
In reply to: burg69
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 2:35pm
Talk about bringing gas to a campfire....