Never thought I was capable
Find a Conversation
|Sun, 08-05-2012 - 9:54pm|
I should have known better than a marry someone from a rebound relationship! I had just broken up with my ex-sig other of 20+ years. I had become depressed after the death of my only child and since I was "no fun anymore", my ex felt justified in taking up with another ( a real bar skank and I AM being polite here). I then met my now-husband who was as different from my ex as a person could get. He swept me off my feet with trips, flowers, dinners, the whole bit. He seemed to like the same things I do - camping, boating, hiking, attending craft and music festivals, etc. Plus the sex was fantastic! When he proposed I happily said yes! A little before the wedding I started having doubts but brushed them off as "cold feet". A mere month after the wedding I knew I made a huge mistake. My husband is NOTHING like the man I dated! Sex virtually disappeared, he is a couch potato who does nothing but sits around after work and eats junk food! I am the opposite - extremely active and I despise TV! About a year after being married we moved, along with the animal sanctuary I run. My husband was completely unhelpful with the move and did not support me emotionally at all! Plus since my husband is still paying on his house (a real crappy place and it will be a miracle if it EVER sells), I am paying for ALL the bills here, which are triple of what I used to pay at my old place. I do it all - pay the bills, work full-time, cook, clean, take care of my animals,etc. While he sits on the couch after work and stuffs himself. getting fatter and fatter.
So last summer I when needed help with relocating the animal sanctuary I run, as well as with the move and I put out the desperate call for help, my friend (now lover) answered my plea. All summer long we worked to get the move done and the sanctuary set up. We were just friends although the chemistry was always there.
Now I am 53 and my lover is 43. However, I have known this man for a few years and we we only connected via Facebook a few years prior.
The sex life with my husband still really sucks and I have always had an extremely strong sex drive. Still, I did not initiate the affair. I was prepared to simply do without, after all, it is not like I am some hot young babe! To be honest, I didn't resist my lover's tentative advances either. The sex is simply incredible plus we have the friendship relationship. I do love this man, but I am not "in love" with him, whereas he is head over heels in love with me!
Ideally, I want my husband out of my life, but I have invested way too much money into this pace and unfortunately both our names are on the deed. I think I would like to live by myself for a change, although my lover would certainly be welcomed to visit! I get the feeling though my lover wants to move in with me! I haven't a clue as to what to do next.
This is CRAZY! I would never have believed I was capable of cheating just like I would have never believed I would be so dumb as to get married to someone I am so obviously incompatible with.