No Judgment Please--Need Advice.
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|Tue, 08-27-2013 - 12:09am|
This is my first time on here. I will try to keep it simple. Basics: I'm 30. Two kids. Work full-time. Live with bf of 10 years & father of my kids. Not happy. Lots of trust issues. Not in love but I do love him of course. I meet someone at son's daycare January 2012. Messaged him on FB and we started talking around 3/2012. I was off work at the time we hung out, literally hung out. Talked for hours. Never did anything. He told me he wasn't in any serious relationships after his divorce (which was pretty close to when we met). But he was seeing someone.
He knew I had a bf. We have been talking ever since. A year and a half. We've obviously gotten more serious. We started messing around about 8 months after we met. In that time frame he obviously was seeing someone on a serious level because after the first time we hooked up he immediately told me he felt bad and couldn't do it again. So we stayed friends. Talked a lot. Met up about 2 weeks later and we hooked up again. We kept hooking up like every 2 weeks but no sex. Just like third base middle school stuff! It was fun. We were having fun. But everytime he would say he felt bad and couldn't continue this. But then we'd end up seeing each other again. This has gone on and on and on but he's finally stopped saying he feels bad about seeing me.
He thinks I broke up w my bf bc we did have a big fight and I just failed to tell him we got back together. Ever since he has thought I have been single he has been totally different. Showed up when he knew I was out somewhere w my kids I think to make sure I wasn't with my bf (not in a creepy stalker way) and wanted to come over to my house (which he never wanted to before for fear of getting caught) and some other minor changes I see.
But today was pretty big. I said we couldn't see each other once he got married (oh yeah he got engaged a couple months ago and seen me 2 days after he proposed) and he said marriage is only a document and didn't understand why we couldn't see each other. I really thought that would be the end of our affair. I said he should know how expensive divorce is and all he said, "last time I did okay it was only $3k" which leads me to believe, is he getting married to get a divorce? He has never talked bad about her always said how nice she is and how great she is with his son.
But he works crazy hours and rented his house out and moved in with her. She helps w the kid a lot and I think it's just a convenience thing. He can see his son more because she is there and his son loves her so it's like, easy I guess. I just am sick of over analyzing everything and need an outsider's perspective. Some of my friends say he's a player and some are like, he is dropping hints and you are not giving him anything.
Then he said he believes third times a charm and we can't mess around anymore when he meets his next chick. Not sure if he was just trying to get a response out of me but I totally blew it off. Kinda upset me thinking I am not good enough for him to consider being the third? Not that I wanna be his third marriage but...you know what I mean. I don't even know if we would mesh well outside of sex. We meet up and have the greatest time together. We sneak around and meet in strange places. I don't know if this is going somewhere or what..just looking for some advice..if any is out there.