Online Affair going RL
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|Tue, 02-12-2013 - 5:13pm|
I'm here because I need help. I need input, common sense, any advice. I've been married to my H for just over 15 years and it's been a very rocky road. He's had lots of health issues and mental ones. He's always been very controlling and demanding, especially sexually to the point where I would be in tears in the bathroom. He has cheated on me with at least 8 other women that I know of/have seem proof of. He used to go to strip clubs a lot. He has serious issues with sex that have caused so many bad arguments. He will not tolerate my opinion so I keep it to myself, he gets very angry at times and lashes out. He has not hit me but anytime you lay your hands on someone you love in anyway is just wrong. I've always fantasized about leaving but he's told me I can't get away and he'll go after whoever I'm with and then bring me back. He has frightened me badly. Over the years I've dispaired and just numbly exsisted day to day. He has made it so where I can't even go anywhere unless he's there. Last summer I met someone online in an MMO game (massively multiplayer online) and we had such a connection. We discovered that we are alike on a lot of things and had such a good time together. OM was so understanding and kind, gentle, things I had never had. As we learned more about each other and spent more time talking, webcamming, we fell in love. I don't say that lightly. What I feel for him and vice versa is unlike anything I've ever felt. It is wonderful and glorious and heart melting.
It's been eight months since we met and we've been talking about meeting. He has mentioned it here and there for some months now. OM has a bad situation himself. His girlfriend of 16 years has cheated on him twice and made some very unwise decisions regarding there kids. OM has told me he had given up on that relationship a year before he met me. He has been waiting until his kids were legal age (this year for the youngest) and then he's out. I had told him it was similar for me with my kids. After these months, which know haven't been very long, we have been talking about not waiting. I would have to wait 7 years. I don't know that I can live with my current situation that long, to be bluntly honest. I have been to my limit for sometime now, over a year at least. He has been at his for longer.
I know what I'm doing is shameful; I never wanted to be the other woman and he never wanted to be the other man. We both feel bad for the way this is/will affect the people around us and how morally it is bad. He has told me, "You can't help who you fall in love with." This is a truth for me now.
Things have gotten very bad where he lives. He has been out of work for months and not been able to find a job. He has to rely on the girlfriend to pay the bills, which bugs him because he wants to work. Very soon his internet will go off because she doesn't want him to be able to talk to me. The same has already happened with his phone. Very soon we will not be able to talk for an indeterminate amount of time, until he works out something.
I love him and I know he loves me. I have never felt anything like this. I do want to be with him but I have some worries. My H will become violent if I try to leave. He will threaten bodily harm and me and any man I'm involved with. He has said he would wait for as long as it takes to get his revenge. He has threathened to kill himself if I leave. He has threatened me. How can I subject the OM to this kind of craziness? I am scared.