Slept with my BestFriends Husband..Now I'm Late

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
Slept with my BestFriends Husband..Now I'm Late
13
Wed, 11-13-2013 - 5:43pm

I don't know where to start because I am honestly embarrased/disgusted with myself and my actions. I did the worst thing a person could do I betrayed someone that i love deeply. I slept with my bestfriends husband. It was stupid and we decided we would never discuss it again. However, there's a slight problem now I'm late. We were completely safe and I am hoping its just stress from my stupid actions, but if its not I am not sure what I will do. We all are very close from our families to our whole group of friends and because of that I have no one to talk to about this. I could never tell one friend without putting them in a situation where they'd be keeping a secret from our friend. He was more than clear about how he wanted nothing to do with a baby, but I do not believe in abortion. I know I shouldn't jump the gun, but truth is I'm scared to take the test because I am not sure what my reaction will be. A part of me would be thrilled to be pregnant, but this is not how I wanted it. I am not ready to be the woman judged and pegged as the homewrecker and moreso now because I know that he will not be there to be me, nor am I ready to be the person to lie about who my baby daddy is.

 

I messed up to the point of no return and no one should pitty me because I am an adult who made a concious decision, however, I am lost and scared and sadly alone because I can't talk to anyone without putting them in this horrible lie filled circle.

I hope someone can shed some light on me because i'm screwed.

 

Thanks,

JFCry

Jazzie Faye

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008

Jazzie,  There is no point to worry and and live with fear if you don't know the truth.  Take the test and find out if you are pregnant first, then deal with what follows

Ollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
I think it maybe to soon to take the test. I have never been in this situation, so I am not sure how long I have to wait.
Jazzie Faye
Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997

You are doing the right thing coming here and *not* telling anyone you know IRL.  That would only compound the problem.

If it's too soon to take a pregnancy test, maybe this bit of knowledge will help (I practiced Natural Family Planning for years):  Ask youself how many days you were into your cycle (i.e. from the start of your last period) when you had sex.  If your normal cycle is 28 days and you had sex within the first 7 days of your cycle (that time includes your period) or after the 18th day, you are *probably* not pregnant because in a 28-day cycle you *normally* would ovulate around day 14-15.  The egg only lives for a day, but the swimmers last for 5 days, hence the window of before and after ovulation.  If your cycle isn't a typical 28-day cycle, that info doesn't help, but if yours is, maybe it does. 

If you're already late, you can take a test now.  If it's negative, take one again in a few days.  If that's negative, try again in a week.  At that point, if it's negative, you should be safe.  Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010

Mahopac:

Thank you so much I have been reading so many things and they are seem to contridict one another. I did the math and as I am normally consistant it seems as it was not during my ovulation period. I also, took a test and it came back negative, but then again it maybe too soon as all of this happened Friday night and I was due Monday/Tuesday.

 

I really hope its a lesson that I am being taught and not anything more because my stress and the stress being put on me about how I will have to have an abortion from the other party is at an all time high. In addition, to that i just got a txt from my friend saying that they denied her, her fertility treatment and she is just so sad. Which clearly makes me feel worse and more stressed. I didn't even know she was trying and I'm over here fertile mertile.

Again thank you so much you don't know how much you have helped me. Talking to him only gets me an ear full of what I need to do to take care of the problem and right now I just can't handle that and since I can't talk to anyone else I feel so lost and out of it.

 

Thank you,

JF 

Jazzie Faye
Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997

You're welcome.  I'm sorry that the guy wanted to push the burden of all consequences onto you, but it also sounds like there was more going on there than even you knew.  It's a sad lesson, but let's hope that this is the end of it, and it's something you'll never have to revisit again because now you are wiser than you were a month ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2002

Keep in mind that there is "the morning after pill".  Too late now, but keep in mind for future if need be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

There are pregnancy tests that can work after one week.........They're advertised on tv all the time.  Go to the drugstore and get one.......and as someone else said, if it's negative, wait a week or two and take another one just to be sure. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010

Yea he was very quick to tell me you have to figure this out...which has put a huge drift between us because he and I were really close now there will be tension. I'm still not 100% sure cause it still hasn't been a month and I'm still late. But again thank you.

Jazzie Faye
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
I didn't think of that because we were safe we used a condom and he pulled out. I did not think it was necessary. This is someone putting the fear of god in me for my actions.
Jazzie Faye
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
I did one of those and because of the time frame it's still not accurate. I need to not stress and wait another week. Thank you for your input.
Jazzie Faye

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