Smokin' hot lover from my past just tracked me down....sorry, it is long :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2013
Smokin' hot lover from my past just tracked me down....sorry, it is long :-)
14
Thu, 04-18-2013 - 10:47am

I was 18, a college freshman when I met him.  He was a junior, though only six months older than I.  I had seen him around campus a few times...gorgeous, young, punk rocker.  Sigh.  My roommate had met him a couple of times, I think she may have introduced me on campus once.  One night my roommate and I ended up at a party and he was there.  I was utterly transfixed.  Could not take my eyes off of him.  I had never felt an attraction like that -- I was only 18! I had one love in high school -- and he was my first everything, kiss, sex...I had been in love with my first for three years before we slept together the first time shortly after my 18th birthday.

Well, back to my college guy -- one party ended, and a few of us moved on to his apartment.  Somebody put "The Knack" on -- remember that song, "Good girls don't, but I do"?  That was on -- god, I will never forget that moment.  "Sid" came over to me.  Gave me his hand, pulled me up from the floor and asked "Do you?" with a mischevious grin and led me to his bedroom.  In moments I was naked in his bed, he was pouring oil over my body...omg, he was something else.  I remember it hurt, and I bled again -- more well-endowed than #1 :-).  Turns out he had a girlfriend back home, we continued an odd "relationship" for the rest of the school year.  He was always a little hot and cold, but we hung out in the same group so spent a lot of time together.  There were several times were we spent the night together and just talked and cuddled, other times when we did have sex. And others when he would act as if he hardly knew me.  He always went for drama -- there was a small party at our apartment once.  He led me out of the room and to the bathroom.  Undressed me and filled the bathtub with water.  Sex in the shower was another first for me.  I do know that during those five months I was the only one he was sleeping with.

He went home for summer, I stayed on campus.  He and his girlfriend (finally!) broke up!  We talked all the time, hours and hours on the phone.  He decided to come to campus for his birthday weekend and stayed with me.  Asked for my eternal devotion and my body for his birthday :-).  We had a great weekend, and he headed home.  And never called.  And so I didn't call him.  When school started and he was back on campus, we were friends and hung out, but we pretended the weekend never happened (I never knew why) and never fooled around again...

And then, last week I got a message from him on Facebook.  I have thought about him many, many times -- and just the other week I was thinking I should check for him on FB but forgot.  I had fallen asleep watching TV, and got up to brush my teeth and wash my face.  Checked FB once more before going to sleep, and there was the message.  I answered right away, he was online and we ended up chatting into the wee hours -- my husband asleep next to me.  He looks amazing -- where he was cute when we were kids, he is achingly sexy now.  He said he has thought about me many times, and often thought to look me up.  He said there were those he doesn't remember, those he would prefer not to remember, and those he remembered very fondly - I being the later. The conversation turned rather quickly, one mention of the oil and we were discussing the possibility of being "discreet" playmates.

We are texting constantly -- well, sexting.  And omg -- the pictures.  He truly looks better than ever. And talking....his voice turned my insides to jello.  I am in a constant state of semi-arousal thinking about him.  Dying to see him, dying to do all of the things we are imagining in our texts.

It is crazy, and it is dangerous.  But there is no way I can NOT see him.  He lives on the other side of the state - I have a plan in place, an excuse, to go out of town next weekend to see him.  He is working on making sure his kids are with his ex that weekend.

He is divorced (twice).  I am married, 19 years.  I had a one night stand in Vegas a couple of years ago.  My husband worships me.  But I am bored -- I was bored before I heard from "Sid"...even more so now.

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Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997

Getting to know yourself better is great, especially if it's not something you've done before.

What's not great is that he says, "I have reservations, but here are some sexy pictures of me.  I don't want to have sex with you because you're married, but here's something naughty to think about.  I have moral standards about having sex with a married woman, but if you follow my plan, then I'm willing to break them to have sex with you."

See what I mean?  That's not being a friend.  That's being a future sex partner.  A real friend wants what is best for you.  What this guy is doing is wooing you so that you *will* come see him, and call that your decision that you made after you got to know yourself.  Then he can tell himself he wasn't to blame for ruining his standards of behavior, you were.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2013

I saw him. 

I flew to his city yesterday for a legitimate (H approved) reason and so of course, I saw him. 

We met at a bar and talked for a couple of hours. Went back my hotel and cuddled and continued to talk. Just that was really nice, probably too nice and too intimate. We dozed off, woke up and (finally!) started kissing. And well, duh!, that was it. And it was of course, deliciously great. We slept a little and then I had to get him back to his car at 5a so he could be home before his kids woke up. 

I was already having an affair with our talking and texting...but the intimacy of it surprised me. I talked about things I've never spoken to anyone about. And the sex was, of course, fantastic. I was warned -- and yea, my head is kind of spinning. 

I am at the airport, getting ready to fly home to reality. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2013

It has been a couple of days -- so far, I am managing.  

I don't think that I am obsessing over him any more than I was before we slept together...well, maybe a little.  And, I don't think that H is irking and bugging me anymore than usual...well, maybe a little.

I really, really want to text "Sid" right now...but am doing my best to refrain...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2013

So how about an update on your situation.

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